Dark Secret Love
by Alissaaaa
Summary: Lily Evans arrives at Hogwarts for the first time for seventh year, only to be chosen as head girl before even setting foot in the castle. However she doesnt plan on being saddled with popular, obnoxious, egotistic, arrogant and amazingly hot James Potter
1. Chapter 1: Rain

**Authors note**

**my first ever fanfic, so please go easy on me, however all coments are much appreciated so please please pleas R&R and let me know what you think.**

**thakyou**

**alissa**

**x**

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**Dark Secret Love**

**Chapter one: Rain**

_And as he stood wondering, the door burst open and something came _

_hurtling at him like a wild beast._

_But his memory had warned him, and he wasn't standing quite close _

_enough to be knocked over. He fought hard: knee, head, fist and the strength _

_of his arms against it, him, her-_

_**The Subtle Knife Philip Pullman**_

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The Hogwarts Express chugged along through a dense curtain of rain, violently pushing out of its way any of the dripping foliage that impeded its progress. Water streaked down the misted up windows in rivulets, distorting and obscuring the abysmal view beyond for the messy-haired seventeen-year- old boy looking out from the last carriage of the scarlet train.

James Potter turned away from the window and surveyed his fellow compartment occupants. Opposite him sat Sirius, lazily flipping through a magazine; a bored expression across his attractive features. Remus Lupin, as always had his nose buried in a book, completely engrossed in the content, his blue eyes flying across the page and his brow furrowed in concentration. And sitting in the corner closest to the compartment door, sat Peter Pettigrew, busily nibbling something, his fat cheeks bulging as they worked furiously.

'Man this is so damn boring' Sirius moaned, dumping his magazine on the table in front of him.

'Yeah, tell me about it' James agreed, running his hand through his hair, messing it up as was his custom. 'So, any suggestions?'

'Could play spin the bottle.' Said Sirius holding up an empty ginger beer bottle and giving a lopsided grin.

'With each other?' James laughed 'dude, you're gross!'

'Desperate' corrected Remus, before once again turning his eyes down to the tiny font of his book.

'We could climb up on the roof, and…' Peter blurted, in his eagerness to keep up with the conversation.

'And what? Get soaked to the bone and become utterly unappealing to every female that looks our way?' scorned Sirius 'Nah, I'd rather not mate.' At this James' face lit up with a malicious grin.

'It's been a long holiday, I think it's about time we remind everyone about the Marauders. And the first years certainly deserve a good introduction.' His hazel eyes twinkled wickedly as Sirius and Remus caught on.

* * *

Within 15 minutes, James, Sirius and Remus were crouching on the slippery roof of the scarlet train, exposed to the pelting rain. All three were soaked to the bone and dripping.

'You sure this is the right compartment?' Remus asked

'Yeah, Peter checked it twice'

'Ok then, good, on the count of three' James said taking out his wand from the back pocket of his jeans. 'One, two, three' all three boys pointed their wands at the expanse of roof in front of them, giving expert flicks of their wands and muttering something under their breath. In a matter of seconds, the section of roof in front of them disappeared, allowing the sheets of rain pour right into the compartment below. James and Sirius exchanged huge grins, which were, however disrupted by an annoyed scream from below. The looks on the three boys faces quickly transformed from glee to those of horror as they took in that the scream was not that of a teacher.

With a brief wide-eyed look at Remus, Sirius scrambled to where the roof disappeared and looked down into the compartment.

'Shit!' he muttered, before somewhat awkwardly jumping down into the compartment below, and landing with a thud. James threw Remus a worried glance before dropping down into the compartment after his friend. However, unlike Sirius, he did so with great ease and agility acquired from his years of quiddich. Once James was inside, Sirius was instantly at beside him, hissing into his ear.

'I swear we meant to be pranking teachers not hot girls.' Only then did James get a chance to look around. His eyes immediately fell on a girl sitting in the corner with her arms folded across her chest. She had long dark red hair which cascaded down her shoulders in wild ringlets, seemingly unmonitored, yet somehow beautifully in place. A slight smile played across her lips.

'Sirius Black' said Sirius holding out a hand to her, seemingly completely relaxed and oblivious to the building tension in the now sodden compartment. The girl stood up, her black unmarked robes falling loosely around her body, revealing the outlines of a slim waist and well-developed breasts. She sidled up to him, in turn, holding out a manicured hand.

'Lily Evans' she smiled as Sirius eagerly shook her hand. 'For future reference, the teachers compartment is the next one along.' She remarked, her emerald eyes cold. 'I was planning on having a shower once we had arrived, thanks for saving me the inconvenience.' her lips were smiling again, yet her eyes remained impassive. 'I'd love to stay and talk, but I'm afraid I have a prior engagement. I hope that when I return, my things shall be dry and the compartment will have reacquired a roof.' Her words held a pleasant request, yet her voice conveyed an order, laced with traces of a threat.' With this Lily Evans turned her back on the two boys who had fallen into her compartment and walked away, sliding the compartment door firmly shut behind her.

'I'm going to kill Peter' Sirius grumbled as he once again felt the rain pummelling his body.


	2. Chapter 2: Aquaintances

**A/N: I am dedicating this chapter to Yas, as she is my first, and (sadly) only reviewer (so far).**

**So I hope you enjoy it Yas, you and everyone else reading this. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Yada yada yada **

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Chapter 2: Aquaintances**

_Victoria was convinced that if there were a ruder young man in all the world, she had yet to encounter him._

** -Victoria and the Rogue - Meg Cabot**

Lily Evans stood outside the door of the train compartment in which Dumbledore was residing. She had yet become acquainted with the headmaster, but had heard a great deal about him. Dumbledore, the recently appointed headmaster of Hogwarts was famous throughout the wizarding world. And as of last year, he had even made an appearance on the collectors cards found inside the wrappers of chocolate frogs. Lily now tried to compose herself as she prepared to knock on the headmaster's door. She reached for her wand, and tapping her robes and hair performed a drying spell to get rid of the side effects of the previously endured prank. Though she had done a very good job of creating a mask of indifference, the sudden downpour had given her a fright. And the two extremely fit guys dropping down from above even more so. Lily shook her head in frustration. Guys such as those she had encountered just ten minutes ago, certainly did not deserve to be classified first and foremost as 'fit', in fact, Lily resolved that in future, she would refer to Mr Black and his companion as arrogant, attention-seeking jerks. Even in her mind.

Yet there was something unsettling about the boy with the messy hair, beyond the brainless grin, concealed behind the mischievous twinkle of his eye, was a profound intelligence and sense of understanding. Lily blinked angrily, wiping the thoughts out of her mind. He was a chauvinistic pig and deserved no further thought. With this final decisive thought, Lily Evans smoothed out her slightly crumpled robes and straightened out, calming her breathing and composing herself, she knocked smartly on the oak door in front of her.

'Come in' sounded a calm voice as she turned the polished door handle and cautiously stepped inside. Lily was extremely surprised that the room she walked into could by no means be classified a train compartment. It was a great deal bigger than it had looked from the outside and was fully furnished. The windows were flanked by heavy drapes of crimson velvet fabric, imposing an air of solidity. The walls were lined with oak shelves burdened with all sorts of things, ranging from books, to unearthly gadgets that Lily had never seen the likes of. The space on the walls that was not consumed by shelves was adorned with portraits of various old people who were all seemingly asleep in their frames. A huge oak desk, occupied the centre of the room carrying nothing but a bedraggled and ancient-looking wizard's hat. In front of the desk sat two extremely comfortable-looking armchairs and sitting behind it sat the headmaster himself. He surveyed Lily with smiling blue eyes, which twinkled at her over his half-moon spectacles.

'Miss Evans' he said, standing up and giving her a slight nod of the head as form of acknowledgement before once again seating himself. 'Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.' He continued 'Today's meeting is to appoint you to a house. There are four houses at Hogwarts: Griffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slitherin. All students are sorted into one of these four houses upon arrival in the sorting ceremony. However, since you have arrived here for your seventh year, I do not recon it would be much appreciated if you were to line up along with all the first years.' At this, Lily gave a small smile and a nod, thankful to Dumbledore's decision.

'If you would please take a seat Miss Evans' Dumbledore gestured to the empty armchairs, picking up the hat sitting on the desk in-front of him. 'This is the sorting hat. Place it on your head and it shall tell us what house you are to be in.'

At this Lily threw him a quizzical look, but obliged, placing the worn hat upon her red curls gingerly.

'Curious' the Hat said in Lily's ear, making her jump 'yet just what I was looking for' before she could make heads or tails of what she had just heard, the hat shouted out 'GRIFFINDOR!' and just as Lily was reaching to take it off: 'HEAD GIRL' Lily hurriedly removed the hat, looking at it in dismay, as Dumbledore clapped his hands quietly.

'Congratulations Miss Evans. I was wondering why the hat hadn't picked a head girl' the headmaster mused, almost to himself.

'But sir, you can't be serious!' Lily exclaimed. Yet she was already, unconsciously running the advantages of such a position through her head: she would be able to keep idiots, such as her earlier visitors, in line. Though, Lily couldn't help but think that they did happen to be extremely fit. Especially the second guy, his messy black hair dropping down into his eyes and his shirt sticking to his tones body… Lily dug her nails into her palm, cursing herself for thinking about guys in the middle of a discussion with her headmaster. Especially girl-obsessed idiots like them.

'The Sorting Hat never lies' Dumbledore continued, knocking Lily out of her reverie. 'Our new head boy, James Potter, will of course, assist you in your duties. You are both as of now, Griffindors and should therefore get on well. At that moment there came a knock on the door. 'Ah yes, here he comes, I'd forgotten I had arranged to see him' said Dumbledore looking up 'come in'.

The door opened and in waltzed none other than the subject of Lily's reluctant thoughts. James Potter was now wearing black robes adorned with the Griffindor colours, concealing his sodden shirt. His hair was still relatively wet and looking unruly in the extreme as it flopped into his ever-sparkling hazel eyes.

'Professor' he said, nodding towards the headmaster, who nodded in return, smiling. 'Miss Evans', James turned to Lily, 'so you really did have a prior engagement. I'm impressed. He grinned good-naturedly at her.

Lily was lost for words. This was James Potter? This was the Head Boy of Hogwarts? - This brainless lunatic? Lily voiced as much as much.

'_You're_ James Potter?' she spluttered all dignity and self-control lost.

'I am indeed. The infamous James Potter at your service milady' he said giving a mock bow. Here Dumbledore reminded them of his presence:

'I see you two are already acquainted' he smiled 'I'm sure Mr Potter will therefore be pleased to know that Miss Evans has recently been named the new Head Girl of Hogwarts.'

Now it was James' turn to be surprised:

'WHAT?' he yelled, returning some of Lily's confidence. 'But she's never even been to Hogwarts before!'

'Well observed Mr Potter. It shall, therefore, be your duty to introduce Miss Evans to the school and teach her all there is to know about the school.' He turned to Lily 'rest assured Miss Evans, Mr Potter, of all people, should have no problems whatsoever in doing so' his eyes twinkled.

James was still a little dazed, but he recovered quickly:

'With pleasure' his smile was back, creating a strange feeling of unease in Lily's stomach.

'Tonight, after the sorting, you are both to do your rounds, I suggest that you take this opportunity to become better acquainted with each other and Hogwarts.' Dumbledore then handed them a piece of parchment. 'These are the passwords to the common rooms, you are to inform the prefects of them before we arrive. You will be informed of your other duties in due course. You have the choice of sleeping in your own private bedrooms, or in the dormitories. The location of the Head dorms is strictly confidential, so, naturally, Mr Potter will be able to show you exactly where they are.' He smiled at them over his half-moon spectacles.

'We should shortly be arriving. You have just enough time to distribute the passwords.' Taking this as a dismissal, both Lily and James walked out. Just walking next to him made Lily feel strange, which gave way to irritation.

Lily sighed and walked off to search for the prefects. She did not notice the hazel eyes watching her as she walked away.

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A/N: Well I hope you liked it, if you did, or didn't for that matter, please review**

**Would be much appreciated**

**Thank you**

**xxx**


	3. Chapter 3: First Impressions

**A/N: As requested by Yasmin, this chapter is longer, so I hope you all enjoy it. And remember to Read and Review!****

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Chapter 3: First Impressions **

'_Young ladies,' she said, 'I wish to introduce you to our new companion.' All the little girls rose in their places, and Sara rose also. 'I shall expect you all to be very agreeable to Miss Crewe; she has just come to us from a great distance – in fact, from India. As soon as lessons are over you must make each other's acquaintance.'_

_**- Frances Hodgson Burnett - A Little Princess**_

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**When the threstral-drawn coaches pulled up to the castle, all the students jumped out, and ran for the doors, their only wish to get inside and out of the pelting rain. Lily did the same, rushing for shelter along with the throng, which once inside, swept her away towards the great hall, not giving her the chance to get her bearings. On stepping into the great hall, Lily let out a gasp of amazement. The vaulted ceiling seemed virtually nonexistent, seemingly exposing them to the elements once again. The black rain fell from the thundering clouds, now and then illuminated by a flash of forked lightning. 

Once Lily managed to tear her eyes away from the enchanted ceiling, her gaze travelled across the long tables standing in rows throughout the hall, each adorned in its own colour and adorned with floating candles.

Seeing the Griffindor crest on the robes of the laughing students seated at the table closest to where she was standing, she made her way towards it, taking a eat at the furthest end, a few seats away from a group of third years, happily conversing amongst themselves. Once seated, Lily turned her gaze once again to the ceiling and watched the rein fall with a calm detachment, blocking out the surrounding chatter.

'Hi' said a voice in Lily's ear causing her to jump a foot in the air and knocking her out of her reverie. Lily turned to see who had spoken and a pair of smiling blue eyes met hers. Next to her sat a slightly tired-looking but fit guy. He had dirty blonde hair and onto his robes was pinned a prefect badge.

'Hey' she smiled back, his prefect badge giving her some confidence in the fact that he was unlikely to be a brainless womanising maniac like Potter and Black. Yet, of course, Potter was head boy…

'I'm Remus Lupin'

'Lily Evans'

'Our new head girl' he grinned

'How did you know?' she asked, frowning. The only people she had talked to had been Black and Potter.

'Oh, I uh, saw your badge'

'Oh, ok' Lily wanted to slap herself for jumping to conclusions.

'How did you manage to get head girl before even entering Hogwarts?' he asked

'How would I know?' Lily said, slightly more curtly than she had intended. Remus pretended not to notice, but changed the subject.

'So what school did you come from?' he wanted to know

'I was home schooled. You see, my parents are muggles, and my mum was so proud of me that she didn't want me sent off to some school which she knew nothing about and where she couldn't see me for months in a row.' Lily found herself blushing slightly, embarrassed about her mother's over protectiveness. 'But then my mum…had an accident. We couldn't…afford to keep the governess, so I got sent here to finish off my education.'

'I'm sure you'll fit in no time. I could show you round if you like' Remus said, for some reason sounding slightly nervous.

'Thanks, but I have to patrol tonight and Dumbledore said Potter would show me round then.' Lily said regretfully, inwardly cringing at the thought of having to see Potter again. She was surprised to see Remus flinch slightly.

'James?' he said in a slightly annoyed tone, barely noticeable, but Lily picked up on it. Just as she was going to ask what the matter was, in came Black, Potter and a short, fat boy, plonking themselves down around Remus.

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As James entered the great hall with Sirius and Peter, he scanned the Griffindor table, looking for a certain very attractive redhead. The moment he had seen Lily Evans, he had decided she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. The instant he had laid eyes on her he had regretted the prank (a first. Since he had never regretted playing a prank on anyone in his entire life). His 'cool' attitude had also failed him for the first time in his life. Perhaps it was because of this that he was intent on getting her – because it would be a challenge. Whatever the reason, James felt a rush of anger when he saw Lily talking to Remus. She was smiling, not sarcastically like she had at him and Sirius, this was a real smile, lighting up her emerald green eyes and making her look even more beautiful than she already was. James subconsciously clenched his fists, as he stared at Remus and Lily. He hadn't been able to make her smile; yet Remus had managed to do it with the utmost ease. 

'Don't worry, we'll get her properly mate' said Sirius, grinning as he misinterpreted James' clenched fists and the direction of his gaze. James just nodded, calming himself and putting on a customary grin, a hand automatically jumping to his messy hair, as he approached the Griffindor table.

As soon as she saw James deposit himself in the seat opposite her, hiding behind that stupid cocky grin, she threw Remus a wide-eyed glance.

'Hey Remmy' said Sirius dropping into the free seat beside him and putting an arm round Remus' shoulders in a hug.

'Hey Sirius' smiled Remus, shrugging Sirius' arm off his back.

'How's it going Evans?' grinned James. Lily chose to ignore him. Instead she chose to turn to Remus

'You're friends with _them_?' she asked

'Yes' he said more coldly 'do you have a problem with that?'

'Of course not. Apart from they're inconsiderate assholes' she snapped. Remus Raised his eyebrows and gave her a quizzical look 'I just wouldn't have thought you would've been friends with them…' she muttered, standing up and moving to a free space further down the table. The last thing she heard was Remus turning to James and Sirius and hissing angrily:

'What the fuck did you do to her?' this gave Lily a grim sort of satisfaction. Though she felt guilty about snapping at Remus who obviously was only trying to be nice and make her feel more at home.

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There weren't many empty spaces left at the Griffindor table now, so Lily couldn't sit alone as she had before. So she picked the first empty place she saw to sit at. She perched half-heartedly on the edge of a seat and tapped the girl next to her on the shoulder. 

'Excuse me, is it ok if I sit here' lily, said nervously, any traces of her earlier forwardness gone. The girl turned towards her and smiled.

'Yeah of course, it's free.' Lily gratefully sank down into the chair, turning to the girl beside her. She was extremely pretty, her dark, almost black hair falling round he face in gentle waves and curls. She had deep brown eyes that somehow seemed to glow with warmth.

'I'm Lily Evans' Lily said awkwardly, giving a small smile.

'Hannah Somani' smiled the girl. 'I haven't seen you round before, are you new?'

'Yeah, I was home schooled, until my mum had an…accident. So I got sent here to finish my last year.'

'I'm sorry' Hannah said gently, sensing that Lily found it hard to talk about her home and that there was something more to what had happened which she wasn't saying. But then her face lit up again: 'I almost had to be home schooled too. My dad's from India you see, and there all girls have to be home schooled' Hannah's simple statement explained her complexion. The Indian blood gave her a subtle beauty and the warm brown colour to her skin. 'My, mum however, insisted that I should be sent to Hogwarts. I have to say, I'm glad she did. It's great here.'

'It's been great so far, apart from those guys over there.' Lily said, motioning in the direction of James and Sirius with a pained expression on her face.

'Who, the marauders?' Hannah asked, and burst into laughter.

'What's so funny?' asked Lily frowning.

'The marauders are the mischief-makers and womanisers of Hogwarts. James is pretty much their leader, closely followed by Sirius. They're generally the ones who go sleeping round with every passably attractive girl they come across. Then there's Remus, the brains of the group and I don't know what part Peter plays in all of it. He's basically their tail and when they get bored a source of amusement really.' She laughed again 'I don't know how he managed to get in with that lot.'

'Remus was ok, but Potter and Black certainly need to deflate their ego's before they hurt themselves' Lily grumbled, causing Hannah to laugh again

'I think you're the only person in this entire school who doesn't love the marauders.'

'What's there to love?' Lily asked, genuinely puzzled. Hannah shrugged

'Their so-called charm has never worked on me' she shrugged 'but believe me, Sirius has tried.' She grinned 'but they're really not that bad, they're a great laugh.'

'With a reputation like that, how did Potter manage to get head boy?' Lily laughed, feeling the more and more relaxed.

'He's _what?_' Hannah stared wide-eyed. 'You're not serious are you?'

'Yeah he is, Dumbledore told me and he has the little badge thingamy.' Hannah let out a whistle.

'No idea how he managed that one' she grinned 'we should go ask him' she started getting up, but Lily pulled her down

'Dude, I just ran away from them, I'm not going back any time soon' Hannah rolled her eyes.

'Ok, don't worry, I'll ask him later.' As an afterthought she added 'I wonder who's head girl.' Lily felt her face starting to go red. Hannah lifted her eyebrows in surprise as her eyes flitted towards the badge on Lily's chest, which had previously gone unnoticed. She let out a low whistle as hush began to fall upon the great hall. 'Congratulations' she hissed, before turning her gaze to the front of the hall where the first years were filing in ready for the sorting ceremony.

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Once the sorting was over and the first years had taken their seats at their house tables, Dumbledore rose from his seat. 

'Welcome, to a new year at Hogwarts, I would like to introduce our new head girl and boy. Miss Lily Evans and Mr James Potter' Lily threw a horrified glance at Hannah when she heard her name and Hannah motioned for her to stand up. She was greeted by a smattering of polite applause. When James stood up, however, he was met by roars and cheers, causing Hannah to grin beside Lily. 'And now, as I'm sure you're all starving, I have two words for you: tuck in!'

At this the tables were filled with hundreds of various dishes, and the whole population of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry lunged for them at exactly the same time. Just as Lily realised that she too, was ravenous.

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A/N: Thank you to: Hannah for letting me include her in this fic**

**Yas**

**Lauren**

**lily&jamesmeant2be**

**Maiden of the Pink Heart**

**Akt5us**

**Hannah**

**Lady of Thieves**

**Thanks for your awesome reviews – keep them coming:P**


	4. Chapter 4: Strawberries and Champagne

**A/N: I apologise for the poor quality of the last chapter, I've tried to make up for it with this one (which is my favourite so far) So I hope you enjoy it and please read and review **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (apart from Pazazu, who is mine)**

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**Chapter 4: Strawberries and Champagne**

_Inside her head a vice screamed No! but Maerad could make no sound. For a split second she was consumed by terror: a memory assailed her of hot breath against her skin, cruel hands bruising her body, the brutal gasps of a man aroused… She twisted out of his arms like a snake, lashing out violently with her fists, and stood panting before him, her hands raised to curse, her eyes glaring. Only then she recalled herself: this was Dernhil, not Burk, that thug who had tried to rape her in the cot; and Dernhil had only kissed her. She lowered her arms, speechless with embarrassment and confusion, and turned away. Dernhil covered his eyes with his hand. _

_** - The Gift - Alison Croggon **_

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Lily's eyes were streaming with tears of laughter. She and Hannah were both clutching helplessly at their sides and doubled over in hysterics when Lily felt a light tap on her shoulder and a quiet cough. She turned round to find James Potter standing behind her, his arms crossed over his chest and a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Lily's expression, however, turned from one of happiness, to annoyance.

'Yes' she said in a strained voice

'Seeing as you haven't noticed, I thought I'd inform you that you're the last ones in the hall and we need to do our rounds.' He stated calmly, running a hand through his messy hair. Lily's features twisted into a grimace of pain as she realised that what he was saying was true. James was surprised to note that Lily looked pretty even when pulling faces.

'Thank you for informing me.' Lily replied coldly 'I will be with you in two minutes.'

'No. We're late as it is. You're coming now.' And with that, he grabbed her hand and yanked her up from her seat. Lily looked behind her to find Hannah laughing again, and standing up too.

'I'd best be off too' she grinned 'you two have fun' Lily shot her an evil look, while James grinned:

'Don't worry, we will.'

'Trust me, they're really not as bad as you make them out to be' Hannah whispered in Lily's ear as she walked past them and out of the great hall. Lily, however, rolled her eyes in annoyance and despair at the thought of her only friend leaving her alone with this moron.

'Ok then, lets go.' Lily said in a business-like tone, gathering her wits about her.

'Okies' James led the way out of the Great Hall and up a huge flight of stairs. As they walked past the four huge hourglasses, lily asked what they were.

'They show how many house points each house has. At the end of the year they get counted up and the house with the most points wins the house cup.' His face suddenly lit up with a wicked grin and his eyes glittered mischievously. 'And as head boy, I have every right of taking them away. Snivellus will be in for it this year'. Lily's face clouded over in a look of confusion, but glancing at James, she decided against questioning him further.

For about ten minutes they walked through the school in silence. Lily only asking questions where she felt absolutely necessary. She felt a bit annoyed about this, as with every step, she felt as if she were growing smaller and smaller as she saw more and more of Hogwarts. Seeing the way James knew the castle inside out was unsettling and made her feel small and insignificant. Yet, on the other hand, she was glad she didn't have to talk to him, as she was sure he wouldn't have had anything of interest to say to her.

Lily was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice that James had stopped, and walked right into a wall. Luckily James caught her before she could hit her head on the cold flagstones of the floor. She looked up from her slightly unorthodox position to see James grinning down at her. She quickly stood up; brushing him away and sending an exasperated look in his direction.

'Fine' he shrugged 'next time I wont bother.'

'Where are we anyway' lily asked, quickly changing the subject. 'And what happened about you showing me round and explaining what's what?'

'I am showing you round Evans. If you would care to actually look where you're going next time, you might take some more in.' he grinned, causing lily to blush slightly, to her utmost annoyance.

'Yes very interesting Potter.' She snapped 'you've brought me to a cold, dark corridor with a painting of a bowl of fruit on the wall. How very illuminating. Now if you wouldn't mind, I would be most interested in finding out where I am to sleep.' She crossed her arms across her chest. 'Besides, I don't think we're likely to find any students hiding behind paintings of fruit in the middle of nowhere.'

'That would be because we're not looking for students Evans.' With this he tickled the pear in the painting and the portrait swung open. Lily couldn't believe her eyes. Though she was well educated in all areas of magic, she did come from a muggle family, and had never been in a wizarding home. Therefore, such mundane things like an opening portrait seemed unearthly to her eyes. James turned round to see her mouth hanging open and laughed, bring a hand up to her shin and closing her mouth for her. 'It doesn't complement you my lady' he said, the corners of his mouth twitching. 'I'd like to show you one of my more interesting discoveries.'

'A ticklish pear?' she cast him a cynical look 'the joy'. He threw her an annoyed look and stomped through the portrait, making to slam it shut behind him. Causing Lily to hurry after him. She had no wish to be stuck in a dark corridor on her own with no idea where to go next. The sight that met her when she stepped through caused her mouth to fall open for the second time in two minutes. She was in a huge kitchen filled with house elves busily washing dishes. She had never seen a house elf before, having come from a muggle family, but had read about them. They, however, were nothing like what she had imagined. One ran straight up to them and spoke to them in a high-pitched squeaky voice.

'Is there anything we can do for you Mr James Potter Sir?' the elf sounded so eager that Lily couldn't suppress a giggle. James looked around at her:

'Hungry?' Lily was about to snap at him and tell him that they had just eaten, when she realised that his voice held no mocking and that he was asking her a genuine question. So for the first time she didn't snap at him and didn't make a sarcastic comment.

'No thanks I've just eaten. But I am a little thirsty.'

James had already opened his mouth in anticipation of giving her a sarcastic reply, when it dawned on him that Lily had given him a proper reply. So the curt reply was replaced by a huge smile as James turned to the house elf and said

'Two glasses of champagne please Pazazu.' He turned round to see Lily looking at him wide eyed. 'You don't like champagne?' James felt annoyed with himself: he should have asked her first.

'No it's just… a glass of water really would have been enough.' She muttered awkwardly 'besides, we're meant to be patrolling.' Lily started turning towards the door. James gently touched his fingers to her hand.

'They wont miss us for five minutes, besides, we need to celebrate our becoming the heads of Hogwarts.' He smiled at her as she turned back round with an uncertain expression on her face. 'Ok, but only if it's just for five minutes.' She sighed, finally giving in and curving her lips into a small smile.

'Follow me' James said, leading her into a side room. There were a few plush red sofas and armchairs and a glass coffee table in the centre of the room. There were large candles dotted all over the floor, lighting the room up with a warm glow. James collapsed onto a sofa and Lily perched on an armchair next to it a little awkwardly, looking around her with interest. 'Not many people know about the kitchens. People are always asking where we get the food from for parties.'

'Parties?' Lily asked with interest, just as a house elf rushed in carrying two champagne flutes and some strawberries on a tray. 'Thank you' she smiled as the elf handed her a glass of the sparkling champagne. James accepted his glass absentmindedly, not taking his eyes off Lily. For a wile she held the flute gently by the fragile stem, gazing mesmerised at the steadily rising bubbles, floating up through the golden liquid. She watched them swirl in different patterns, breaking up the soft candlelight and each shining with a tiny rainbow. Her eyes sparkled like the drink, as a red wisp of hair fell in front of them. It shone with a golden sheen in the candlelight, each curl slightly different and with it's own natural highlights. James watched the corners of her lips lift up slightly, and involuntarily, his did the same.

Lily raised her glass, as did James

'To the new head boy and girl' James said, and then added as an afterthought: 'may we be successful in triumphing over Slytherins.' At this Lily rolled her eyes, but a small smile remained at the corners of her lips as she sipped at her champagne.

* * *

They certainly spent longer than five minutes in the kitchens. Lily and James sat and talked lightly in the candlelit room: James told Lily about Hogwarts and the feuds between the houses, about the pranks they had played on Slytherins, which promptly introduced a stern look from Lily, but surprisingly enough followed by a laugh or a smile. The champagne loosened Lily up a little; just the right amount to feel relaxed. She found herself laughing and telling James about some of her childhood.

Two hours later found Lily sitting cross-legged in her arm chair and James sprawled out on the sofa laughing over the time Lily had accidentally made her maths teacher in primary school sprout antlers.

'Shit' Lily said suddenly, jumping up from the armchair she had been comfortably sitting in a few seconds earlier and glancing at her watch. 'It's already twelve o'clock!'

'Oops' James said, sitting up. 'The head's dorms aren't far. We should sleep there tonight, the others won't be happy if we come stumbling in and wake them up.

'Fair enough' said Lily smiling slightly and heading back into the main kitchen and to the portrait.

* * *

As they walked along the dark corridors, James told Lily about the portraits in front of each common room and told her the password to the head's dormitories. James told her about how he and Sirius had stumbled across the head's dormitories two years ago when they were running away from Filch. The story of how James and Sirius had crashed into the head girl just as she was walking out of her dormitory made Lily laugh.

'The portraits of an old wizard dancing with a pig, or was the last time I looked.' James laughed 'It's just round the corner.'

Just then lily caught sight of a silhouette pressed against the wall in front of her and to her right. Lily gave James a sharp poke and motioned towards the silhouette. James' eyebrows creased together for a second, but then his mouth broke out into a huge smile

'Oy, Sirius!' he said. Sirius spun round to face James and grinned back.

'You scared the living shit out of me dude!'

'I try' James shrugged. At this Lily stepped forward.

'Hey Evans.' Sirius grinned

'What the hell are you doing sneaking round at night?' she hissed angrily

'I was just visiting Tina Barker in Ravenclaw' He shrugged nonchalantly and exchanged knowing grins with James. 'No less than you and Jamesie here were doing I'm sure.'

'What the fuck are you on about? We were just…' suddenly her face grew even angrier. If there had been light enough to see by, James and Sirius would have seen that her eyes had grown very dark indeed and her mouth had formed into a thin line. She turned to James: ' you filthy conniving bastard!' she screamed at a shocked looking James 'Giving me champagne in an attempt to make me drunk, in that candlelit room, your preposterous excuse to get me to sleep in the head's dormitories, just to screw me…' She let out a strangled scream as she glared vehemently at James. 'Well I'll have you know that it would never have worked! I'm not a slut Potter! And you'd do well to remember that!'

And with one final thundering look in James' direction she turned to go snapping:

'If I catch you out of your own bed again Black, I'll be taking points off Gryffindor!' she stormed round the corner, barked out a password and slammed the portrait closed behind her.

'Oops' said Sirius, unsure whether he was allowed to grin or not.

'It's late Sirius. Go to bed' James said in a strained but pointed voice. This was such an uncharacteristic thing for James to say that Sirius found himself, for once, doing exactly as he was told.

As soon as Sirius disappeared out of sight, James punched the wall in front of him with all his strength and placed his forehead against the cold stone and closed his eyes. He had not meant to get her drunk or get laid. How could it have all so wrong? And more importantly...

Why did he care?

**

* * *

A/N: Ooh, tensions between Lily and James!**

**A huge thank you goes out to all my reviewers**

**And I'd like to say thanks to Xena and for the name of the house elf Pazazu (originally Pazuzu who is a figure in Sumerian and Akkadian mythology. Pazuzu is often depicted with the body of a man but with the head of a lion or dog, talons instead of feet, two pairs of wings, the tail of a scorpion and a serpentine penis. He is also depicted with the right hand upward, and the left hand downward; the position of the hands means life and death, or creation and destruction.) he he – serpentine penis – makes me laugh. **

**Thought I'd make the house elf innocent and change the name a little.**

**Yes, I know I'm rambling, so I'll shut up now.**

**Please R&R**

**Thankyou**

**A xxxxx**


	5. Chapter 5: Reality

**Chapter 5: Reality**

_...for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing. So high and conceited that there was no enduring him! He walked here, and he walked there, fancying himself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with I wish you had been there, my dear, to have given him one of your set downs. I quite detest the man."_

_**- Jane Austen – Pride and Prejudice**_

* * *

The rays of sunlight crept in over the windowsill, dancing over the huge four-poster with blue silk sheets, and the slim curled up body that lay underneath them. The hair spread on the pillow obtained its characteristic glow as the sunlight brushed across the sleeping form of Lily Evans, gently coaxing open her still moist eyelashes. 

Lily was an early riser, so as soon as she felt the warmth of the weak autumn sunlight on her cheeks, her eyes fluttered open and found themselves gazing at a deep blue canopy. Lily sat up bemused, unable to work out where she was, when suddenly all the memories of the previous day came back to her: the journey on the Hogwarts express, the sorting hat naming her as head girl, Potter's unsuccessful attempt at seducing her… Lily cringed and dug her nails into the palm of her hand, seething with the humiliation of actually falling for his lame trick. She jumped up and headed for the bathroom, intending to have a cold shower in order to clear her head.

But as soon as she opened the door to the bathroom, all thoughts of Potter flew out of her head. It was absolutely amazing. She had walked into what looked like a tower entirely constructed of stained glass. The feeble September sunlight filtered through the walls, throwing coloured shadows onto the huge tub filling virtually the whole of the space before her.

Not seeing a shower, Lily leant over one of the many taps studding the sides of the tub and twisted it. It released several clouds of wonderfully smelling perfume before she quickly twisted it closed again. By the time Lily had found the taps containing the hot and cold water, the tub was already half-full with bubbles of all shapes and colours and much else besides. Having filled the tub, Lily sunk in, quickly washing her hair before getting out again to find a fluffy white towel with the name 'Lily' embroidered onto it in gold italic letters. She could have sworn it hadn't been there before. Wrapping the towel round herself, she brushed her teeth at the sink in the corner of the glass tower and seeing her makeup was there too, applied a thin coat and headed for the door.

She opened it absentmindedly and before she realised what was happening, she found herself face to face with James Potter, who had obviously just woken up, sitting on the side of a red four-poster bed in his boxers, a groggy expression on his face. Before he could work out what was going on and what an extremely hot girl (whom he didn't remember ever seeing before) was doing in his room wearing nothing but a towel.

Before James could suss out what was going on, Lily had turned bright pink and ran out of the room with a cry of

'Shit!'

Just as the last wisp of red hair disappeared behind the slamming door, did James work out who it was that he had just found standing in his room and the events of the previous night came back to him.

'Shit,' he muttered under his breath, before pulling the covers over his head and involuntarily falling into a light, troubled sleep.

* * *

As soon as Lily had run across the bathroom and into her room, she let out a strangled scream of frustration. Why the fuck did she just wander into Potter's room wearing nothing but a towel? This was so goddamn embarrassing! Now he'd think of her as a slut or get ideas or something. 

She slumped down on her bed and put her head in her hands. After a couple of minutes of sitting unmoving in this position, she got up, deciding that she would just have to show Potter that she was not attracted to him in any way and that if he ever tried anything again, he'd be sorry.

With these decisive thoughts, Lily glanced at her watch. It was still only seven o'clock. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a green shirt and her school robes over the top. She performed a quick drying spell on her hair, and grabbing a book, set off in search of the Great Hall and breakfast.

As she wandered the still empty halls of the castle, Lily found herself involuntarily thinking of Potter in his boxers…he did have an extremely nice body. Lily actually slapped herself at this.

'He's a manipulating bastard,' she said out loud to herself through gritted teeth.

'Who is?' Lily spun round to find Hannah standing behind her grinning.

'Potter,' she growled. Hannah laughed.

'What is it with you and this huge thing against James?'

'It's nothing,' Lily said dismissively 'so, what are you doing up so early?'

'Looking for you before you get lost,' Hannah smiled, 'and you're not changing the subject. What has James ever done to you?'

'Well, there was the little thing last night, where he tried to get me drunk and then get me into bed with him!' Lily almost screamed in frustration. Hannah's eyes widened in shock and she took a step backwards.

'Lily, you can't be serious!'

'I'm perfectly serious. Hence I think my 'prejudice' against Potter is more or less justified!' Hannah just shook her head dazedly

'James likes to sleep around, but what you just told me really doesn't sound like something he'd do.'

'Well maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them!' Lily snapped, but seeing the hurt look on Hannah's face, she shook her head and said 'I'm sorry, I guess I'm pissed off with James and taking it out on you.' Lily said apologetically and Hannah gave her a smile.

'I think I'd better show you down to breakfast, since you're heading in the opposite direction of the Great Hall,' Lily blushed slightly and laughed.

'What would I ever do without you?' Hannah grinned and they headed down to the Great Hall and to Lily's first day at Hogwarts.

* * *

Lily was absentmindedly eating a slice of toast while reading her book, as Hannah had temporarily abandoned her to go sit with her Ravenclaw boyfriend Luke. 

'What you reading?' Lily jumped and turned round to find Remus sitting next to her, smiling broadly. When she threw him an annoyed look, he looked bemused for a second. He sighed and said 'I'm sorry about last night, James can be an idiot sometimes, sometimes I have no idea why I'm friends with him.'

'It's not your fault he's a hopeless case,' Lily shrugged and flashed him a smile. Remus returned I gladly.

'So what're you reading?' he asked again. By way of an answer, Lily held up the fairly thick book she was reading for him to see the title: _Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration. H_e raised his eyebrows 'Any good?'

'It's very interesting actually. It says here how to turn a door into a ship,' she laughed 'no idea where I'll need that though.'

'Well next time I'm stuck on a desert island with nothing but a door on it, I'll be able to get home,' Remus grinned

'And of course you wouldn't be able to apparate will you?' Lily laughed

'Of course not! Didn't you know all desert islands have those anti-apparition spells on them just like Hogwarts…for absolutely no reason?'

'Well thank you for the information, I'll be sure to remember that in future' by this time Lily and Remus were rolling round in helpless laughter. Though Lily herself couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much over such a lame joke.

'Could I borrow that book when you're done?' Remus asked, a little awkwardly, which Lily found surprising, but she didn't say anything. Instead she smiled and answered

'I'll be done by tonight, I'll come find you and give it to you then. Ok?' He smiled gratefully and they chatted amiably as they ate their breakfast.

'We'd better go give out timetables,' Remus said with a sigh, getting up from his seat.

'Where are they?'

'Over there,' Remus pointed to the other side of the hall

'Accio timetables,' Lily said calmly flicking her wand and sending the timetables sailing over the heads of the eating students and with another flick of the wand dispersed the timetables among them. All this was done without standing up and with a piece of toast in her mouth.

Lily bent over to examine her timetable, every now and then muttering something like:

'Charms last thing on a Friday, that's a blessing,' Only a few minutes later did she realise that Remus hadn't moved since she had given out the timetables. He was still standing up with a timetable clutched in his hand, a look of mingled awe and amazement on his face.

'Yeah, I'm surprised we have so many free periods, personally I think it would be more productive if…' Lily began, misinterpreting his look.

'How…?' he stuttered. And only then did Lily catch on.

'Haven't you covered summoning spells?' She said surprised 'I did them in fourth year'

'Yeah so did we, but they're really hard and I didn't even know you could do that.' He said, implying what she had just done when distributing the timetables.

'Charms is my favourite subject' Lily shrugged, lightly dismissing the compliment 'I've had a lot of practice.' She returned to her timetable and continued analysing it.

'It's no wonder you were chosen as head girl' Remus said with a touch of awe. When Lily looked up, he saw her eyes had narrowed to slits, he turned round to see who her gaze was directed at and saw James, Sirius and Peter entering entering the hall and gave a small laugh. 'I won't burden you with their company again, don't worry.' Lily smiled at him gratefully.

'Thanks.'

'I'll see you later then,' Remus said, gently squeezing her fingers and walking off in the direction of the rest of the Marauders.

Lily finished her toast and got up to get her books ready for lessons. She made her way back to the head's dormitories, which she had now memorised the route to. As she walked, she noticed a few curious glances being cast her way, but she walked on: she really couldn't afford to be distracted or she would get lost again.

* * *

Once she had reached the portrait, she said the password and stepped through. She went through the spacious common room and to her bedroom, where she took out her timetable and threw the books she needed for that morning into her bag, along with several rolls of parchment, a couple of quills and some ink. 

As she was about to leave, she saw something on her bed, which caught her eye; it was a bouquet of stunning red and blue lilies with a note pinned to them. She walked over to her bed and picked up the note. It read:

_Dear Lily, I'm sorry about last night, please meet me in the common room at 9 o'clock tonight. __I just want to explain. __Please._

_James _

Lily walked into James' now empty bedroom via the bathroom and placed the flowers on his bed, ripping up the note and letting the pieces fall onto the sheets. No way was she going to fall for his pathetic tricks again.

With that, she left for Potions, her first class of the day, which began in ten minutes. It said on her timetable that it was in the dungeons, so she headed downwards, descending every staircase she came across, heading for the abode of the Slytherins.

* * *

The dungeons smelt of damp and mould, which crept up the cold stone walls and the flagstone floor. There were virtually no windows, so the winding corridors were flooded with darkness and a permanent air of gloom. 

Once she had reached the dungeons, Lily followed the sounds of conversation and laughter, and came to her classroom, outside of which were a crowd of students. She could see from the crests on their robes that they were Gryffindors and Slytherins.

'Ah look who it is, our new resident mudblood!' was the first remark Lily received as she was spotted. At this she gave a gasp, she had read that 'mudblood' was an extremely offensive word and she had never thought that it would be used at Hogwarts. She had obviously thought wrong. A tall blonde boy was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed across his chest, regarding her with unveiled disgust. Lily quickly recovered herself and snapped:

'Such conduct and use of language wont be tolerated while I'm head girl. Ten house points from Slytherin.' The boy's eyes widened in outrage as he stood up straight and glared at her with vehemence.

'Head girl are we then?' the boy sneered. 'Dumbledore's really lost it this year don't you think? Choosing a new mudblood and that incompetent ass Potter as head boy and girl.' This remark earned him snickers from the Slythierins and glares from the Gryffindors present.

Lily opened her mouth indignantly to take some more points from Slytherin but she found a wand being pointed right at her head. Hers was at the bottom of her bag somewhere; she had not expected she would need it. 'You won't be taking any more house points off me Evans, or you'll regret it. Is that clear mudblood?' The boy spat the last word with such disgust that Lily actually felt a shiver run down her spine.

Just then she saw the Marauders standing and glaring at the boy with full-fledged anger. Only Peter looked a bit apprehensive and wasn't throwing his most evil looks in the direction of the Slytherins.

'Don't you dare call her that, you filthy excuse for a…' James roared, brandishing his wand at the boy threateningly, quivering with rage as the boy spun round to face him.

'Put your wands down both of you!' Remus shouted, 'or I'll be telling McGonagall and Slughorn will be finding out.' Both lowered their wands, excruciatingly slowly and still shaking with anger. 'If you _ever_ talk about Lily that way again Malfoy, I'll subject you to far worse than an angry James!' Remus said in a dangerous undertone to the blonde boy, who flinched ever so slightly at this remark.

Their interaction was interrupted by the arrival of a short fat man, with a shiny bald patch and greying straw-coloured hair and a gingery-blond moustache. Under his lavish robes, he wore a flowery waistcoat with gold buttons.

'Good morning everyone! No bickering I hope?' he said, smiling broadly as he looked around the pupils assembled. 'Ah, Miss Evans is it?' The professor said, the redhead catching his eye. Lily nodded, still a little absentmindedly. 'Very nice to meet you, I'm professor Slughorn, head of Slytherin' he smiled 'and your potions teacher'

'Ok, go in then' he said to the pupils and they piled in to the classroom. The Slytherins piled in first and soon only Lily and the marauders were left in the corridor outside.

'Thank you' Lily smiled at Remus, and spontaneously gave him a quick hug. Remus was a little surprised, but returned the hug.

'It was nothing' Remus smiled back as they walked into the classroom.

None of this interaction was lost on James and he felt himself, for the first time in his life, seething with jealousy.

* * *

Remus sat with Peter, as he always needed help in potions and James sat with Sirius. Lily sat on her own, wondering where Hannah had got to. Lily, however wasn't given the chance to ponder over this any further, as Slughorn began the lesson: 

'Welcome back, or in the case of Miss Lily Evans, welcome to Hogwarts.' Slughorn smiled down at the class. 'Today we will be making veritaserum, the most powerful truth potion. It is a very complex recipe and has to be made over a period of several days as it needs to be left to mature. At the end of the week we will be testing our potions. Use of pure veritaserum is controlled by very strict ministry guidelines, so we will be making dilute truth potion. Please turn to page one hundred and twenty of your textbooks for the recipe and begin.'

With this, he turned to the board to write something, Lily felt someone sit down beside her. It was Hannah, fifteen minutes late and grinning from ear to ear.

'What took you so long?' Lily asked in an undertone while leafing through her textbook to find the correct page.

'Got a bit carried away with Luke…you know, long time no see…' Hannah said, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks. Lily laughed openly at this.

'You know, I really should be taking house points off for that.'

'Yes, but you wont be,' Hannah grinned

'You're right,' Lily laughed as she set to work powdering her bicorn horn.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Malfoy throwing her a dirty look. She pretended not to notice, but a feeling of apprehension took over her. She would have to be careful with him in future. She highly doubted he would have hesitated to turn her into a slug if Remus and Potter hadn't interrupted.

However, she couldn't work out why Potter had stood up for her. He was just trying to seduce her again she told herself, though a little half-heartedly now. She looked to where he was sitting. He and Sirius were using the leeches as darts, trying to hit Slughorn's bald patch.

He was so pathetic, Lily thought to herself in exasperation, as she returned to her potion.

**

* * *

A/N: This chapter was longer, so I'm expecting more reviews:P**


	6. Chapter 6: The Dark Mark

**Chapter 6: The Dark Mark**

_

* * *

High explosive girl you turn me on  
So volatile like a walking atom bomb  
Just takes one spark to kerosene  
You go off like nitro-glycerine_

**- Ash – Detonator-**

* * *

Towards the end of the potions lesson that morning, Lily managed to become Professor Slughorn's favourite pupil and simultaneously win Gryffindor house 15 house points. She had left the lesson in high spirits and looking forward to transfiguration. Hannah left for the grounds for Herbology, while Lily went (following Hannah's detailed directions) up the stairs to transfiguration.

'Almost on time Potter, Black! I'm impressed!' Professor McGonagall noted cynically regarding a dishevelled James and Sirius standing in the doorway with a thin-lipped smile. 'But this year you will be taking your NEWT's so even you, Potter would do well to turn up for lessons once in a while. As for you Black, I wont even go there…' Sirius and James exchanged humorous glances and headed for the back of the classroom. 'Not this time Potter. Sit by Miss Evans over there, maybe she'll be able to control you somehow, god knows no one else can.' James looked a little surprised, but then his face split into a huge grin as he flopped down in the empty chair beside Lily. With it came a waft of extremely good-smelling eau de cologne, somehow, however, this only served to aggravate further. She shuffled away from James as far as she could, without even acknowledging him and turned back to the lesson.

James soon grew bored of sitting beside Lily Evans in transfiguration. His hand had been repeatedly slapped off her knee, and even off her thigh once, which had received him a very dirty look. Obviously, this wasn't going to go anywhere today, so James turned his attention to all the other girls in the room. Every time Lily glanced at him, he was flirting with some girl and no doubt taking in nothing of the lesson. Lily found herself, once again, wondering, how the hell Potter had managed to get himself elected as head boy.

'Mr Potter, you seem to be paying close attention to the lesson today.' At this, Lily involuntarily let out an extremely un-ladylike snort, which triggered several snickers and a lop-sided grin from James. 'Care to demonstrate what I have been explaining to the class for the last half hour?'

'What might that be?' Professor McGonagall cast him a look,

'How to transfigure a feather into a swan. Up here Potter' James got up from his seat with a nonchalant shrug and made his way to the front of the classroom. He took a feather from the box Professor McGonagall was holding out to him, placed it on the floor and pointed his wand towards it. The feather instantly transformed into a beautiful white swan. James looked at it critically, then seeing a glass of water on McGonagall's desk, levitated it to the ground and with a fluid motion of his wand, the glass of water had been replaced by a small lake that filled half the classroom across which the swan was swimming happily.

'Yes very nice Potter,' sighed McGonagall 'five points to Gryffindor, though in future I will be less tolerant of your showing off.' She motioned for him to sit back down. James returned to his seat looking very smug indeed.

Once the rest of the class had received their feathers and were transfiguring them into swans, Lily confidently cast the spell to transfigure hers, but she only got it right on her second attempt, the first time, the swan she had created had no wings. James missed none of this and when Lily glanced his way, he was wearing a huge self-satisfied smile across his face. Lily threw him yet another dirty look, before turning back to her work.

James couldn't help noticing that Lily looked extremely beautiful when angry, her eyes shining and her cheeks pink… He shook himself in annoyance, what was his problem? And since when did he like being totally rejected?

Once the lesson was finished, Lily stuffed her books into her bag and hurriedly left the classroom. James ran after her.

'So, Evans, what was it that you wanted from me?'

'I want nothing to do with you Potter' Lily spat

'Sure didn't seem that way this morning when you strolled into my room wearing nothing but a towel' James replied smugly, smiling from the memory.

'It was an accident' Lily said through gritted teeth 'I want nothing to do with you and your bloody huge ego!' James raised an eyebrow in amusement.

'So I'm guessing you won't be meeting me in the common room tonight?'

'For someone so good at transfiguration, your possession of common sense is shockingly low.' She almost screamed at him, her temper fuelled by her anger that he had actually managed to beat her in transfiguration without the slightest bit of attention. 'I refuse to be a notch on your belt Potter. So don't even go there!' with this she tossed her red curls and stormed off down the corridor down to lunch.

* * *

Relationships between Lily and James remained much the same over the next few weeks. Lily either made a point of ignoring him, or when she couldn't contain herself, she would scream at him and she didn't care who heard. They were forced to cooperate in head meetings, but even then, all conversation was kept to a minimum and only where absolutely necessary. James had resumed his tradition of dating a new girl each week, but only Sirius saw that he now did so half-heartedly and that his gaze was always focused on Lily Evans.

Remus, on the other hand, was rapidly becoming one of Lily's best friends. Virtually all her free time was spent with either Hannah or Remus. They spent many hours together In front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, studying, reading or just chatting animatedly. It was on occasions like this that James found himself seething. He was so used to getting any girl he wanted whenever he wanted, it was almost unbearable to see Lily Evans, the girl that had occupied all his thoughts since the second he had laid eyes on her, sitting with one of his best friends. The fact that she didn't even acknowledge his presence in the room only served to infuriate him further.

* * *

The first Hogsmeade weekend drew near and Lily found herself wandering round the village alone, walking into every shop she passed and looking round with great interest. Having been home-tutored, she had only been to Diagon Alley a few times and this was her first time in Hogsmeade. She was particularly fascinated by Zonko's joke shop, pranks of every nature seeming alien to her, especially those made much easier to carry out with the aid of magic. She spent a good half-hour examining the things sold there so as to know how to take care of things if one of the pranks was pulled. Something she had no doubt about once the students had stocked up after the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year.

Lily, however, had to admit to herself that she did feel pretty pathetic, standing alone in a joke shop, just so that she could punish students for using the products sold there. She groaned to herself, since when had she started stooping to such low standards? Why wasn't she, like all the normal people, out with their friends or boyfriends, making the most of their few hours of freedom? Lily sighed and walked out of the shop. Dragging her feet, she walked through the village, absentmindedly gazing into shop windows, she didn't notice as she made her way to the outskirts of the village. She was jolted back to reality when she found herself standing in front of a fence overlooking an old shack. It was boarded up and falling apart, parts of it were blackened, as if it had been licked by flames and it creaked with each breath of the cold late-autumn wind. At the sight of the shack, memories flooded into Lily's mind: a blackened house, still smoking in the cool morning air, endless piles of rubble and smashed glass and the smoky image of a skull with a snake protruding from it's mouth floating in the cloudless sky; The Dark Mark… Lily found herself doing what she had sworn never to do again; she crumpled onto the wet, leaf-strewn soil as her body was wracked by uncontrollable sobs. Reliving that terrible summer morning when Lily had come home from a sleepover to find her parents dead, murdered by the Death Eaters of Lord Voldemort.

* * *

She had no idea how long she lay there, reliving her worst memories, sprawled on the golden leaves, her tears seeping into the already damp soil beneath. The sky was beginning to grow dark, yet she felt she didn't have the energy to move. An all-too-familiar voice jolted her back to reality:

'Evans?' Lily flinched as she heard James Potter nonchalantly striding up to her 'What the hell are you rolling round in the mud for? If you wanted…' but he was cut short at the sight of Lily's rumpled hair and tearstained face. In all the time he had known her (even if it was only a couple of months), he had not once seen her cry, yet here she was in a heap on the ground 'God Evans! What happened? Are you hurt?' Mustering the strength, Lily lifted herself off the ground and gave a weak watery smile, desperately fighting away the tears thet just kept coming.

'No I'm fine, really.' James lifted an eyebrow

'Well you sure don't look it m'dear' he noted as the tears continued to seep stubbornly out of the corners of her eyes.

'You're the last person I need making fun of me at the moment Potter' Lily growled venomously at James. His eyes widened, but then he realised what he must have sounded like.

'Evans, I…'

'Why don't you just fuck off Potter?' Said Lily, turning away from him. Her eyes swam, obscuring her vision so that she couldn't see where she was going. But She didn't care. The further away from Potter the better.

'It wasn't meant to sound like that, I'm sorry' James ran up to her and said softly. It was Lily's turn to stare at him wide eyed. Had the infamous James Potter just apologised to her? He had never spoken to her with anything but mockery, this was something completely different. 'Let me at least walk you home.' There was something so sincere and gentle in his voice, that Lily found herself slowly nodding and falling into step with him.

They walked back to the castle in silence, the tears never ceasing their flow down Lily's cheeks. Every now and again her body shuddered with a suppressed sob, at which James would squeeze her hand reassuringly. Despite her usual feelings towards James, Lily was intensely grateful for his company. Just the feel of someone there beside her, even if she did hate that someone's guts, made her feel less frightened and alone.

* * *

James led Lily up to their private common room and sat her down on the sofa closest to the blazing fire. He himself, sat down in the armchair next to it, not too close as to make her feel uncomfortable, but close enough to let her know that he was there.

'Are you cold?' he asked worriedly as he noticed she was shuddering, she nodded _yes. _'Is it ok if I leave you for a couple of minutes?' Lily looked up at him suddenly, her eyes fearful, 'I'll wont be longer than two minutes, I promise.' She nodded, albeit reluctantly, James gave her hand a squeeze and sprinted out the portrait and down to the kitchens.

On his return, James found Lily sobbing loudly into a cushion. On seeing this, he ran over to the sofa, sat down next to her and pulled her into a tight hug. She did not object, so he stayed there rocking her gently back and forth until a house elf arrived carrying a mug of steaming hot chocolate and a plate of cookies.

Lily sat, pressed up against James and sipped her hot chocolate, eventually the tears stopped coming and she found herself completely numb and rigid, staring into the flames dancing in the grate in front of her. They couldn't help but remind her of what her house must have looked like the night her parents died…'

'Why?' Lily whispered 'Why them? They hardly even knew who he was, what right did they have to arrive in the dead of night and…'She stopped, unable to continue for a few minutes. 'It was all my fault, she said she never wanted to see me again, Petunia said that if it wasn't for me none of it would have happened…' In this jolted fashion, Lily recounted the story of that fateful night to James and eventually fell asleep in his strong, protective arms.

James looked down at sleeping form curled up in his arms. He smiled slightly as he watched her breathe steadily in her sleep. This was exactly what he had dreamed of for so long, yet it was so wrong. He just hoped that she wasn't dreaming of what she had just told him. He was surprised how well she had coped with it thus far; he would have thought she would have broken down long before now.

For once in his life James didn't know what to do, Lily blamed everything that had happened on herself; the death of her parents, the destruction of her home, her family. She believed it so strongly that he was scared that she might do something to harm herself. And he had no idea how to handle it.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to update, I had awful writers block, which left me literally staring at the screen, absolutely clueless as to what to write. So I'm sorry if it was a bit weak round the middle. **

**This chapter was a tad more serious than the rest, explaining Lily's sudden arrival at Hogwarts and her reluctance to tell people about it at the start. Please let me know what you think. All reviews are much appreciated.**

**a**

**x**

**ps. Don't worry, Lily does not become suicidal, she'll get over it, eventually.**


	7. Chapter 7: Backfire

**Chapter 7: Backfire**

**A/N: I'm so sorry I took so long to update! I've had my French GCSE oral, Art GCSE preparation, Maths coursework, Stats coursework and I'm sure you couldn't care less, so here's chapter 7 for you. **

**Please R&R! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing… **

_Kestrel danced as if after this dance her life would end: as if nothing and no one existed but this ma, this music, this small spinning stage. He was her enemy, the man she must destroy, and he was her partner, her lover, herself: for as long as the dance lasted, they were two bodies become one._

**- Slaves of the Mastery – William Nicholson**

* * *

As the early sunlight filtered in through the thin blue curtains of the Head's common room, a head of messy black hair began to stir. 

James Potter woke up to find himself looking at the glossy red curls of Lily Evans. His lips curved into an involuntary smile, as he looked at her, so serene and beautiful, as she lay curled in his arms, her gentle breathing tickling his chest. He reached out a hand to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes, as he did so, he noticed a tear clinging to her eyelashes, and the previous night's events all came rushing back to him; just as Lily began to stir.

Her eyes flitted open, and immediately she realised there was something wrong. She swivelled her head round and found herself face to face with a slightly uneasy-looking James Potter. Lily's eyes widened in horror and she jumped up from the surprisingly comforting warmth of James' arms.

Lily's mind was in turmoil. What was she doing here with Potter? What happened last night? Scores of emotions flooded through her: fury, anger, but as she began to remember the events of the previous evening, they changed to regret, sadness and finally, mortification. She hid her face in her hands and sprinted out of the room.

James made no move to stop her. He watched the portrait slam shut behind her, regretfully. He had to make a huge effort in order to restrain himself, more than anything, James wanted to run after her and comfort her in any way he could. But he knew that she needed to be alone, so he let her go.

Lily didn't stop running until she had got outside. It was still cold outside, and the grass was laced with early morning dew. She sat down under a tree by the lake, hugging her knees to her chest, and went over everything in her head. There should have been a feeling of relief, but all she felt was a sense of failure and embarrassment. She told herself that James Potter was the least of her worries, yet she couldn't get him out of her head. Lily shook her head angrily and stood up.

Pacing round the lake in the weak morning sunshine, working out how she was going to set things right and forget about all that had happened and concentrate on the future.

James watched Lily from the window of the head's common room. He saw her stand up, and start pacing, and seeing the frown of concentration on her face, he knew that she was strong enough to pull herself together. But he was determined to help in any way possible.

* * *

And so it was, with the help of the Marauders and Hannah (who had bugged her for days to tell her what was wrong) that Lily pulled herself out of her depression. Whenever she felt her mind starting to wander, she would bury herself in her work and head girl duties, occupying her mind with anything but and not allowing herself to think of what used to her family. Or that evening with Potter. That was another thing she had taught herself not to think about, just the thought of what state she was in, was enough to make her cringe. But of all the people to collapse in front of, why did it have to be Potter? And why had he even bothered. She had made it completely obvious over the time she had known him that she wanted nothing to do with him, so she was completely lost as to why he had helped. Lately, he had been much nicer to her, helping where he could. Lily forced her mind away from James Potter, something she had had to do increasingly often lately, and back to her potions essay, she couldn't let her grades go down because of personal life and daydreams. But subconsciously, Lily was warming to James. Just a bit, but warming to him nevertheless.

* * *

'This is wrong' Hannah sighed, looking sadly out onto the sparkling lake, where now and the tentacles of the giant squid would appear, as they basked in the sunlight. It was one of those rare sunny days at this time of the year, the air, even in the sunlight, cold and bitter, carrying the chill of winter. She was lying on the grass by the willow tree overlooking the lake with the four Marauders, all of whom looked concerned. 'It's a Saturday afternoon and she's locked herself in her room for the whole day again. She hasn't been out once!' 

'Yeah, I had to send up breakfast and lunch to her from the kitchen with Pazazu today.' Hannah gave him a surprised look. 'Pazazu – the house elf,' he clarified. Hannah nodded, even though the house elf wasn't the reason for her surprise. Over the last few weeks, James had been surprising her by performing all sorts of small tasks for Lily and doing her favours wherever he could. Hannah had known James since first year and he had never acted like this before: he spent so much of his time doing things to help Lily, and strangest off all, he took no credit for any of the things he did. In fact, Lily didn't even know about most of the tings James had been doing for her, even Hannah was sure she didn't know about half the times James had gone out of his way to help. Hannah shook her head slightly and turned her attention beck to the conversation.

'It isn't normal the way she's behaving. It's just…unhealthy…'

'To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with Evans, she was always a bit of a workaholic.' Peter shrugged and promptly received glares from all those around him. 'What!' the stares intensified.

'Remind me why we accepted Peter into the Marauders?' Remus asked coldly, shooting Peter evils.'

'Because you felt sorry for him Moony, because you like being all heroic, because he was a loner, because you said you knew what it felt like to be dif- Ouch!' Sirius was cut off by a kick in the shin from Remus. 'You know what she needs?' Sirius smirked 'She needs some cheering up!' and flashing a cheeky grin, he leant in to whisper (rather unnecessarily) his 'ingenious plan'.

The next morning, the Marauders came down to breakfast early, in order to get seats at the very end of the table. None of them liked porridge, but it was vital to Sirius' 'cunning plan', so, they got Peter to have the porridge. Or, as it happened, three bowls of porridge as they waited for Lily to come down.

When she did finally come down, there was a place waiting for her between Remus and Hannah, into which she sank gratefully. She picked up the smallest yoghurt she could find, along with a spoon and started eating, avoiding the gaze of those surrounding her, especially James'.

'Why are you starving yourself?' James blurted

'There is a difference, Potter, between starving yourself and not being hungry.' she snapped.

'Yeah, there is a difference. And you're starving yourself!' Lily bit back a sarcastic reply, not wishing to get into an argument first thing in the morning. She was unbelievably tired, as she had got next to no sleep over the last few nights, she'd spent hours tossing and turning in her bed, unable to fall asleep. The hours of sleep she did manage to get, consisted of dreams of the dark mark, flames and the wish that she had died with her parents. On the rare occasion she did catch a few hours of sleep, she would wake up covered in a cold sweat and screaming. Last night she hadn't been able to face the dreams she knew were inevitable, so she was up all night working out extra-curricular timetables for the first years.

* * *

Now she had dark rings under her eyes, which couldn't even be concealed by her makeup. 

'You know Lily, you need to get yourself a boyfriend,' Hannah stated suddenly 'you know, take your mind off head girl stuff.' At this remark, both Remus and James stiffened slightly. No one noticed.

'I have way too much work on my plate at the moment, without the extra hassle of a boyfriend.' Lily sighed, exasperated. Hannah shrugged her shoulders resignedly. She hadn't expected anything more.

Just then, Lucius Malfoy stood up at the Slytherin table and started walking out of the Great Hall, approaching the Marauder's end of the Gryffindor table. If Lily had looked up at that moment, she would have seen James and Sirius exchanging glances and Remus looking on with mild disapproval, but doing nothing to intervene. Just as Malfoy was walking past the Gryffindor table, Sirius pointed his wand at his feet from under the tablecloth and Lucius tripped. A piece of elastic had appeared from nowhere, stretched between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, right across Malfoy's path. He went catapulting into it with surprising force, bounced off it and managed to land headfirst into Peter's bowl of porridge.

'YES!' shouted Sirius and James giving each other high-fives, even Remus was unable to contain his laughter. As for Peter, he was rolling helplessly on the floor with laughter, spattered with porridge. Only Lily didn't find it funny, with a quick glance at Hannah, who had tears of laughter seeping out of the corners of her eyes, she stood up and ran over to Lucius, helping him out of the porridge. She grabbed a napkin and started mopping up the porridge off Lucius' face, James and Sirius looking on incredulously.

'Fucking Marauders!' Lucius was muttering angrily under his breath. 'You know, you'd be much better off with me than them idiots' he said, turning to Lily. Her eyes widened, as did those of the Marauders. Since when did Slytherins ask out Gryffindors? She glanced over at the latter, to find James just laughing all the more. Lily glared. She had been right about him from the very start, he was an arrogant prat with a hugely oversized ego. So Potter thought that the idea of a Gryffindor going out with a Slytherin was absolutely hilarious. She was seething inside, she had no idea why it hurt so much to see him laughing at her, but whatever the reason, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

'You're right' She said to an astonished Lucius, her eyes on James

'What, you're saying you'll go out with me?' he smirked

'Yeah, why not?' she shrugged tearing her eyes away from James, pecked Lucius' cheek and went off to get her books, leaving Lucius alone with a crowd of astonished Gryffindors.

'Looks like I win again Potter' he sneered as he turned on his heel and left the Great Hall. He was already planning how he could use going out with the Head Girl to his advantage; and his mind was already swirling with possibilities.

'Ok, was it me, or did Evans just agree to go out with Malfoy?' Sirius said, breaking the silence at the Gryffindor table.

'For once, it wasn't just you mate.' Remus muttered quietly, still in shock

'What d'you think of that Prongs?' Peter said 'Evans and Malfoy.' James glared at him, but Peter didn't take hint 'Lily Malfoy, sounds a tad strange don't you think?' At that, James slammed his hands down on the table, stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall.

'Methinks you went a bit too far Wormtail.' Sirius noted. Remus watched James' fast retreating back with a dark look. He wasn't the only one who hadn't liked the happenings of the last few minutes, just not everyone made a huge scene, he thought.

* * *

James wasn't making a scene. He couldn't physically take it any longer. Lily had chosen Malfoy over him. Lily had chosen Malfoy over him. Lily had chosen Malfoy over him. The same thought went round and round in his head. After all the effort he had put in to being nice to Lily and helping her wherever he could, she did this to him! He'd seen the look in her eyes, Lily meant to hurt James. She had succeeded, and much more so than she had ever intended to. 


	8. Chapter 8: Hurt

**A/N: wow. I updated! Perhaps it was because of all your reviews… hint 12 whole reviews made me happy XD I have decided that I would like you to keep it up, so at least as many this time too please, or I will take ages to review**

**Mua hahahahaha!**

**Ok just ignore me, I'm in a strange mood…**

**Anyway, enjoy**

**Ooh**

**WARNING: this chapter contains violence, so if you don't like stuff like that, don't read it, but it's not too bad and I would love you to read it… and I'm rambling shuts up **

**Disclaimer: you know the drill…**

**

* * *

Chapter 8: Hurt **

_I was on the ground on my stomach. He sat on my back. He pounded my skull into the brick. He cursed me. He turned me around and sat on my chest. I was babbling. I was begging. Here is where he wrapped his hands around my neck and began to squeeze. For a second, I lost consciousness, when I came to I knew I was staring up into the eyes of the man who would kill me. _

_**- Lucky – Alice Sebold - **_

It was the last day of the Seventh Years' mock NEWTS and there was an air of happiness and relief in the Gryffindor common room that night. Virtually most of the younger students had been kicked out and Seventh Years were sprawled all over the common room, doing anything they liked for the first time in weeks. The Marauders, in particular, were indulging themselves, passing round several bottles of firewhisky. Peter was already half-asleep, hiccoughing half-heartedly, Remus was sipping his firewhisky half-heartedly, whereas Sirius was completely pissed and talking about god-knows-what what the top of his voice. Only James hadn't touched the stuff. He'd been in a bad mood for over a month now, ever since the day Lily had started going out with Malfoy. Arguments between Lily and James had become a regular occurrence, and everyone was so sick of it that they had been kicked out of the Gryffindor common room several times for arguing too loudly.

James glanced over at the other side of the common room where Lily sat with Hannah, talking and laughing animatedly. James had noticed that Lily had been in a better mood ever since that fateful breakfast, this only served to upset James further. He just couldn't see how it was physically possible for her to go out with that moron. It made him seethe inside whenever he saw them together, every time Malfoy touched her he felt his fingers ball up into fists and wanted more than anything to beat the living shit out of 'that manipulating bastard', as he liked to put it.

'Any idea why Hannah broke up with that Ravenclaw boyfriend of hers?' Asked Remus absentmindedly, startling James out of his reverie.

'I dunno, got bored?' He answered, shrugging, tearing his eyes away from Lily in the corner of the room with great effort.

'What? Hannah boyfriendless? When did this happen? Why wasn't I informed?' Sirius exclaimed indignantly.

'You were informed,' Remus clarified 'you were just too busy making out with what's her name … Amy, that's the one, to hear.' Sirius grinned goofily.

'Ah yes, she was good, she…'

'Please don't go into the details!' Remus cried, for which he received a glare from Sirius.

'Anyway, I know why Hannah dumped that Ravenclaw dude, she's so attracted to me, she couldn't take it anymore!' at which James snorted

'Yeah, sure, she's as bad as Evans there, she would never go out with a marauder.'

'Hey!' Sirius cried indignantly 'what's wrong with me?'

'Well, it could be that you're dribbling firewhisky all over your shirt…' Remus sniggered

'Girls find that attractive' Sirius shrugged

'No they really don't'

'Girls would find me attractive if I was covered in cowpat from head to foot!'

'Eugh, I did not need that image!' Sirius grinned at the look on Remus' face.

'Evans!' James jumped up from the couch as he saw Lily heading for the portrait, 'Wait up!' Lily continued walking. James caught up with her, swivelling her round by grabbing her arm. She tried to shake him off, but he wouldn't let her go. She sighed in exasperation.

'What do you want Potter?'

'Where are you off to?'

'Can't see how that's any of your business,' she snapped

'Oh God, you're going out to see _him_ again!'

'So what if I am?'

'Just dump him! He's using you!'

'And do you have any evidence of that?' she eyed him coldly

'He's a Malfoy, and a Slytherin, it says it all.'

'You're right Potter, it does. It says that you're an arrogant big headed moron who is jealous of anyone who stands in his way, preventing him from sleeping with every girl in the bloody school!' She screamed, wrenching her arm out of his grasp and running out of the common room.

'Why don't you just drop it mate?' Remus asked as James flopped down on the couch, a pained expression on his face.

'Because that bastard's up to something! I … don't want her hurt.' Remus' expression hardened slightly.

'She's happy, so leave it, you've done enough already to make her unhappy.' He stood up and left to read a book, occupying the place where Lily and Hannah had just been sitting, a sullen expression on his face. James frowned, wondering what had gotten into Remus; he wasn't usually one to make unjustified accusations…

'Hey! Where'd Hannah go!' exclaimed Sirius, looking round the common room wide-eyed.

* * *

Lily wasn't happy. Lucius was arrogant, tiresome, and from what she had seen, not a very nice person. Several times he had taunted first years, shouting extremely offensive things at them. Lucius found himself getting away with many more things than he had before now that he was going out with Lily. And he intended to keep it that way. But tonight, he had something bigger in mind. 

Lily asked, as they walked along the darkened corridors, the hand holding hers was cold and clammy, to be honest, not very nice to hold at all, but she put up with it. She would show Potter. She stopped suddenly, halting mid-step. Was she really doing all this just to prove Potter wrong? She shook her head, annoyed with herself. Of course not, she was going out with Lucius because she needed a boyfriend to take her mind off other things, like Hannah had said. 'Sorry' she said, smiling at Lucius and resuming walking. 'Where are we going?'

'You'll see, it's a surprise' Lucius smirked. Lily hated it when he smirked, it sent shivers down her spine, she shrugged it off. Stupid Potter, making her feel apprehensive of her own boyfriend… They stopped again. 'We're here'

An empty classroom?' Lily asked, raising an eyebrow, putting on a smile.

'Yes' said Lucius simply, holding the door open for her. 'Sit' he said, closing the door behind him. A frown creased Lily's forehead, this certainly wasn't what she had expected to be doing in an empty classroom with her boyfriend.

'We need to talk'

'Well I guessed as much.' lily shrugged, 'What about?'

'Potter.' Lily's eyes widened.

'What about him?'

'I've noticed you spend a lot of time with him and his friends.'

'It's not my fault he watches my every move, you can't say I encourage it! It irritates the hell out of me actually…'

'I wasn't accusing you of anything' Lucius smirked, as if in on some private joke he didn't want to share.

'Well, what do you want to talk about then?' Lily asked, still very confused.

'It has come to the Dark Lord's attention that Potter possesses some information that could be of great use to us…' he was cut off by a very unladylike snort from Lily. He glared at her.

'You can't be serious!' she laughed 'Voldermort? That ex-Slytherin crackpot?' Malfoy raised his arm and slapped her hard across the face, causing Lily to cry out and almost knocking her out of her seat, leaving a hand-shaped mark on her face.

'Do NOT insult the Dark Lord! You filthy mudblood bitch!' he spat. Lily put her hand to her burning cheek and glared at Lucius. 'Anyway,' he said, resuming the conversation as if nothing had just happened, 'you are in a very useful position for us-'

'Us?' Lily cut him off once more, 'next you'll be telling me you're one of those hooded lunatics who run round in those gay masks killing people.' For this she received another slap, this time she didn't make a sound, she clenched her teeth and took it silently, glaring coldly at Malfoy, even though her cheek was smarting more than ever.

'I need you to put veritaserum in Potter's drink, nothing difficult. I'll take care of the rest. The Dark Lord will be very grateful.' Lily stared at him dumfounded. Was he completely off his rocker?

'You can't make me' she said in a steely voice, following it up by spitting in his eye.

'You'd be surprised, Lily flower, that I can.' With that he raised his fist, throwing a punch at her face, she ducked at the last minute, Malfoy's fist didn't collide with her nose and crush it, as was undoubtedly his intention, instead, it hit her just above the eye. Lily discovered that it really hurt. Just as Lucius was about to hit her again, the door burst open and in stumbled a very drunk Sirius.

'Hey, you guys, have you seen Hannah, cos she wants me bad an' I can't find her anywhere…' When he saw Malfoy standing over Lily, he came the only conclusion his drunken mind could muster 'whoopsy daisy!' he giggled 'didn't realise you two were busy there…'

Lily took her chance. She kicked Lucius hard in the shin, ducked from underneath him and sprinted out of the room as fast as her legs would carry her, leaving Lucius hopping round on one foot and clutching his leg. Sirius stood by the doorway with a dumbfounded expression on his face. 'Oops… I think I'll leave you to it then….' He slurred and hurried out of the room in search of Hannah.

* * *

Lily burst into the Head's common room, out of breath. She had hoped James would be in bed by now, but no such luck. He sat on a couch by the smouldering fire. Waiting for her. Lily attempted to walk past quickly, without showing her face, but unsuccessfully. 

'I see you're back.' He said coldly, turning towards her.

'I do not need another argument right now' she snapped, her voice came out watery and uneven. Just then James saw her face.

'Oh my god Lily! Are you all right?' He was at her side in seconds, hugging her to him protectively, stroking her hair. If Lily was confused, she didn't say so. She let him hold her for a minute or two; she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She was determined not to cry in front of James again.

'You were right James' she whispered before running to her room and letting the tears flow.

* * *

That night James lay in bed, unable to sleep. Malfoy had hit Lily; he was going to kill that bastard. What sort of person hits a girl, who could ever possibly be evil enough to hit Lily? Just then it struck him that she had used his first name… James shrugged it off: look at the state she was in, it couldn't have meant anything. 

He was jolted awake at 3am by a bloodcurdling scream from next door. Lily was having one of her nightmares again. This had happened every night since that time he had found her sprawled in the autumn leaves outside the shrieking shack. James wanted to leap out of bed and run next door, to hug her, to comfort her, to kiss away the pain. But he knew he couldn't. So he lay in bed, listening to her sobbing into her pillow until she had cried herself to sleep.

James couldn't sleep again that night. He got up at 5am, showered quickly and went down to see the house elves. He needed their help.

**

* * *

A/N: Drunken Sirius was to fun to write! I shall be marrying him one day… **

**Anyway, I hoped you all liked this chapter, please review and let me know what you think!**

**A**

**x**


	9. Chapter 9: Irresistible

**A/N: I know I promised not to update until I got at least 12 reviews, but I really wanted to write this so yeah, here it is. **

**I hope you enjoy it. And R&R please!**

**Disclaimer: I wish…**

* * *

Chapter 9: Irresistible 

_Be brave little one.  
Make a wish for each sad little tear.  
Hold your head up though no one is near  
Someone's waiting for you.  
Don't cry little one.  
There'll be a smile where a frown use to be  
You'll be part of the love that you see.  
Someone's waiting for you.  
Always keep a little prayer in your pocket  
and you're sure to see the light.  
Soon there'll be joy and happiness  
and your little world will be bright  
Have faith little one  
'Til your hopes and your wishes come true.  
You must try to be brave little one.  
Someone's waiting to love you_

_**- Someone's waiting for you – The Rescuers – Disney **_

* * *

Lily's cheek was stinging, her body was aching all over and she couldn't open one eye. And with the feeling of pain, came back all that had happened last night. Lily wanted to cry with hurt and humiliation, but she blinked the tears away angrily. She looked at the clock at her bedside and saw that it was already 10.30am! Wincing at the pain, she pushed herself out of bed, her had was throbbing and she felt half-dead. She went into the bathroom, to find about twenty different creams intended for cuts and bruises, she smiled to herself, it must have been James who left it there… She halted mid-step. Shed called him James! Why? It was Potter. Potter! She said to herself, but as she thought of the concern he had expressed last night, she thought that maybe she was being too harsh towards him after all. So, first names it was then.

Lily stumbled into the shower, scrubbing at herself to get rid of all the grime and even more so, the feeling of Lucius' hands on her. She washed the bits of caked blood out of her hair and let the hot water run over her for a while, soothing her injuries. She glanced at herself in the mirror and cringed away from her reflection. She looked terrible. She hurriedly smeared on as much cream as she could, ignoring the stinging sensation when it made contact with the cuts. The stuff was surprisingly good, many of the smaller cuts were already healing up, but she still looked like hell. She put on as much makeup as she could, so as to conceal as much of the damage to her face as she could, without ending up looking up like a slut. She performed a quick drying spell on her hair, leaving it down, so it would conceal at least some of her face. When she looked into the mirror again, she could still see most of the cuts and bruises, but she looked a great deal better than she had just a bit earlier. She sighed, it wasn't going to get any better any time soon, besides she was already two and a half hours late to lessons, which was a record for Lily Evans, so with one last disappointed glance into the mirror, she walked through her room and into the common room.

To her surprise, she found James sitting on the couch.

'James, what're you doing here?' she asked incredulously. James started slightly at her use of his first name, but recovered quickly:

'I figured I should make sure you're all right. Besides, it's not as if I would have been able to concentrate in lessons, knowing you were lying alone in bed, all beaten up.' Lily's expression softened. She couldn't believe how nice he was being. 'How're you feeling? Are you alright?'

'Sore all over, but apart from that, yeah, I'm fine.'

'I'm sorry it came out this way' James said in a quiet voice

'Why?' Lily asked, puzzled, 'you knew what was going to happen, you were right all along…'

'Lily,' James said gently, touching her shoulder lightly. Involuntarily she flinched away, the memories of last night flooding back unbidden. James seemed to understand. 'If there were any way I could have saved you any pain at all –' his voice faltered

'It's alright,' Lily said softly, 'really.' James smiled in response to her tone of voice, 'But now we need to go down to lessons. You've already missed too much on my account.' Lily motioned for him to get up, chucked his bag at him, and grabbing her own, set off towards the portrait hole, James close behind her.

* * *

Not for the first time, James marvelled at her endurance. He'd seen her face the other night, god knows what that bastard Malfoy had been thinking, to beat her up like that. Lily had handled it so well, acting as if nothing had happened, holding her head high as she walked down the deserted hallways, keeping her composure even when there was no one to see her. 

They walked into transfiguration to find a very annoyed-looking Professor McGonagall.

'Potter! Evans! Why are you so late?' she snapped, 'Miss Evans, I would never have expected-' her rant was cut short at the sight of Lily's face, 'Sit down, I will speak to you at the end of the lesson.' Lily heaved a silent sigh of relief, as she went to sit in her usual place, next to Hannah, but in her place was sitting none other than Sirius Black. He and Hannah had been cuddling comfortably until Lily and James' entrance. Now, Hannah was staring at her incredulously, as was the rest of the class. A look of annoyance flickered over Lily's face as she went and sat down in the only empty place in the classroom, which happened to be next to James Potter.

A day ago, this would have been the last place in the world she would have liked to sit, but now, it seemed almost a relief. She knew that she wouldn't be pestered by stupid questions, which were the last thing she needed at the moment. So she sank down into the seat gratefully.

At the end of the transfiguration lesson, James and Lily stayed behind as Professor McGonagall had requested. Once the rest of the class had filed out, casting inquisitive glances at Lily, Professor McGonagall turned to them.

'What happened?' she said in a worried voice

'Malfoy the bloody -'

'It doesn't matter, I promise I'll catch up with the work I missed this morning, I could even do Potter's notes for him too, he was helping me, it wasn't his fault he missed lessons…' James couldn't hold back a smile at her eagerness not to get into trouble or receive a detention.

'I wasn't even for a second going to give out detentions or take off house points Miss Evans.' Professor McGonagall said dryly, 'and I'm afraid to say Miss Evans, that it _does _matter - Very much so. Such…behaviour…will not be tolerated at Hogwarts. I shall be seeing Mr Malfoy about his behaviour'

'You may go' Lily and James hurried out of the classroom, Lily with a worried expression on her face.

* * *

'He won't let it go just like that you know. If Sirius hadn't burst in, god knows what he might have done… it was enough that I got away, but now that McGonagall knows…' Lily gulped, terrified of the prospect of seeing Malfoy again. 

'I won't let him do anything to you, If he as much as lays a finger on you, the filthy slimeball…'

'Lily! Are you alright?' She looked up to see the marauders, Hannah and a few people she didn't really know running towards her.

'Oh my god Lily! What happened?' Hannah burst out of the crowd, hugging Lily, who flinched slightly at her touch.

'She doesn't like being touched, well to tell you the truth, neither would I if –' Lily cut him off with a glare.

'I'm fine, touch me all you like.' She forced a smile, and as a result, winced with the pain.

'Lily, are you alright?' came Remus' voice, asking the same question, he was just about to hug her, but James stopped him, to Lily's relief.

'God you people are slow! She doesn't want to talk about it! How thick do you need to be!' James snapped at the gathering crowd. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw Sirius coming up from behind Hannah, hugging her round the waist and kissing her lightly on the neck.

'Oh for fucks sake not now Sirius!' she heard Hannah hiss. Glad for the change of subject, Lily turned to the couple.

'So you found her did you Sirius?' to which he grinned happily.

'Uh, did I interrupt something last night, I'm sorry, I was a bit out of it…' Lily couldn't restrain a smile

'You certainly interrupted something Sirius, but don't be sorry, you saved me quite the few more cuts and bruises.' Hannah caught on first:

'WHAT? You were there and you didn't _do _anything!' She looked at Sirius horrified, wriggling out of his embrace.

'He was completely wasted, I'm surprised he actually remembers anything from last night, besides he did do something, he distracted Lucius, that's all I needed.'

'Malfoy?' someone said incredulously 'your boyfriend did…that?'

'He's not my boyfriend' Lily snapped, and walked off to her next class, the unbidden tears stinging at the corners of her eyes.

* * *

Within a couple of weeks, the gossip had died down, as had Lily's nervousness. She didn't flinch when touched anymore, though every time she saw Malfoy she would start shaking and avoided him wherever possible. She and James were certainly on better terms than they had been. She still snapped at him regularly, but they were generally on first name terms now and they rarely got into full-blown arguments. 

The Christmas season was upon Hogwarts and the grounds were covered in a glittering blanket of snow. The castle was filled with decorations and the suits of armour were all singing Christmas carols, most, however, no longer very polite, courtesy of the Marauders. That night was to be the annual Christmas party in Gryffindor house. 'House Parties' were forbidden at Hogwarts, but rules were lax at Christmas. However, this was the Marauders' last Hogwarts Christmas party, it would certainly be one no one would forget in a hurry.

* * *

Lily stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom, twisting a loose curl round her finger and eyeing her reflection uncertainly. 

'Don't look so worried,' Hannah smiled 'you look great!' Lily was dresses in a knee-length pale green dress, which hugged her figure. The skirt, however, consisted of layers and layers of black mesh and lace, floating out slightly and shimmering beautifully each time she moved. The bodice, separated from the skirt by a wide black ribbon, was encrusted with jet-black beading, clinging to the green silk in intricate patterns. Lily's red curls cascaded down her shoulders, preventing her image from being formal.

'You sure it's not too much?' Lily asked uncertainly, after all, it was just a house party.

'It is most certainly not just a house party' Hannah stated, reading Lily's thoughts, 'this is the last Marauder – hosted Christmas Party ever. I could almost call you underdressed!' Lily snorted, but her expression calmed a bit. 'Besides, would I be wearing this if I knew everyone would be dressed normally?' She had a point. Hannah was dressed in an elegantly fitting blue dress embroidered with tiny gold beads, which looked stunning on her, and was certainly far from casual.

'I know why you're dressing up,' Lily smirked.

'Hey, this has nothing to do with Sirius'

'You never actually told me what made you give up your morals about never dating a marauder.' Lily raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation, unable to restrain a smile.

'I was just sick of him bugging me, besides, this isn't a long term relationship or anything, I mean, can you imagine Sirius in a long term relationship?' this was greeted by another snort from Lily. 'My point exactly, it's just a bit of fun, because Sirius is great when it comes to-' Lily's face contorted as she cut Hannah off.

'I do not need a graphic description of what Sirius is like in bed.' Hannah grinned ' I think I'll just take your word for it. And back to the dresses, I'll go like this, but if everyone's wearing jeans, I swear to god, I'll roast you alive!' Hannah laughed

'You do that.'

They arrived at the Gryffindor common room 'fashionable late' due to Lily realising that parties were banned at Hogwarts and blatantly refusing to go, until Hannah managed to convince her that this rule was ignored at Christmas. Having crawled through the hole behind the portrait of the fat lady, Lily let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the majority of the girls there were dressed up a good deal more than she was. She was just about to tell Hannah this, when she realised she was no longer beside her, she turned to find her a few metres away, kissing Sirius. She rolled her eyes in exasperation; this was going to be an interesting night…

'Oy! Lily!' She rolled her eyes at the all-too-familiar voice, turning round to face a grinning James Potter, forcing his way towards her through the crowd. 'Where did you get to I was wondering where you had g…' he trailed off as she turned round towards him and was left gaping at her and very much resembling a goldfish.

'What?' Lily laughed at his expression

'It's just you look so…beautiful' he whispered; more to himself than to Lily. A slight blush crept up her cheeks, but she laughed it off.

'Don't push your luck James'

'What? Push my luck! Never!' He feigned mock horror, making Lily laugh again. 'I'll get you a drink'

'I don't drink!' she shouted after him

'Tough' he shouted back as he battled his way through the crowd towards the drinks table. _Boys_, Lily thought as she sank down into a couch. Only now did she get the chance to admire the decoration in the Gryffindor common room, she had to admit it was tastefully done, and she could have sworn the common room was 5 times bigger than usual, before she could figure it out, James was next to her again, handing her a cup of punch.

'It was the least alcoholic drink I could find. Sorry'

'There's a first time for everything,' she shrugged, sipping the drink, it tasted nice, just warming her throat the tiniest bit. She allowed herself to sink further into the couch and watched the students milling about the enlarged common room. She watched girls flirting with guys; smiling, laughing and she watched skirts unfurling on the dance floor, as couples danced together, long hair flickering in the light, everyone all smiles. And James watched Lily. She looked so beautiful. He hadn't thought she could possibly have looked any more beautiful than she had been in his eyes, she had even been beautiful that night when she had stumbled into the common room, covered in cuts and bruises. But now she sat beside him, all evidence of any injuries gone, her green eyes glistening, looking more stunning than he would have ever thought possible. James caught the direction of her gaze.

'Dance with me?' Lily looked up and, after a moment of thought, nodded slowly

* * *

James smiled as he swayed to the music with Lily in his arms, her head resting lightly on his shoulder. The music finally stopped. Lily raised her head to look at James, a slight smile playing across her lips. He couldn't help it. His lips descended onto hers. They felt so soft as he kissed her, letting her know how much she meant to him. His emotions were soaring out of control, his tongue found itself brushing against her lip and she parted them easily. She kissed him back, with just as much love and need. Lily's hands went up to his hair, her slender fingers intertwining with the jet-black locks. James' hand involuntarily slid down her back… and Lily's eyes snapped open. 

She stared at him, her eyes wide with horror.

'No…' she whispered, as she shook her head in bewilderment. She couldn't bring herself to look at James as she ran out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10: Hopes and Fears

**A/N: sorry it took so long to update. Was on holiday on the Isle of White (speak of boring places), anyway, here's the next instalment. **

**Enjoy**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 10: Hopes and Fears

_BEAST: I ask nicely, but she refuses. What a...what does she want me to do--beg?  
(Picking up the MAGIC MIRROR)  
Show me the girl. _

_(The MAGIC MIRROR shines, then glows green and  
reveals BELLE in her bedroom, talking to the WARDROBE) _

_WARDROBE: (in mirror pleading)  
Why the master's not so bad once you get to know him. Why don't you give him a chance? _

_BELLE: (still disturbed by the attack)  
I don't want to get to know him.  
I don't want to have anything to do with him! _

_BEAST: (setting down MAGIC MIRROR, speaking tenderly)  
I'm just fooling myself. She'll never see me as anything...but a monster.  
(Another petal falls off the rose.)  
It's hopeless._

_-**Disney's Beauty and the Beast-**_

* * *

Lily sat by the lake, watching the snow drift down from the stars, whispering of tears and loneliness. Her toes rested on the thin ice encrusting the black crystal depths, separating two worlds. She sat frozen, like the ice on the lake, like an ice statue devoid of emotion, not one snowflake melting on her hair, allowing herself to become one with all that surrounded her. A vision of cold beauty. 

Lily felt someone sit down next to her, melting some of the snow, and with it, melting some of the coldness she felt.

'What's the matter Lily?' whispered a friendly voice, full of concern.

'I don't know Remus' she whispered back to him. She had no idea what she was feeling, why she had kissed James, why she had run away… It was a rare occurrence for Lily Evans to be unsure of something, but to have absolutely no idea what was going on inside her was a first. She leant in to Remus and he put an arm round her.

'Tell me' he whispered

'I can't' she shook her head

'Then tell me something else'

'Something else?'

'Something else'

'Like what?'

'Anything'

'I…used to eat books…' Remus couldn't suppress a snort of laughter

'You _ate _books?'

'I thought I wouldn't have to learn the stuff if I ate it, because I would have already had it inside me.' She could feel her cheeks turning crimson, the snowflakes that had managed to settle on them melting rapidly. 'Until one day I ate too many potions notes and was sick for days. I've hated potions ever since…' Remus chuckled and Lily smiled. They talked nonsense for ages, until it struck Remus that they were sitting under a blanket of snow, that it was past curfew and they should really be inside.

'We'd better go in, the party's probably still going, we can talk there.' Lily allowed herself to be pulled up out of the snow and kept hold of Remus' hand as they walked back up to the castle.

* * *

James hadn't taken his eyes from the opposite corner of the Gryffindor common room ever since the moment Lily and Remus had returned. He watched as they chatted and laughed, how Lily's eyes twinkled like stars, how her flushed cheeks glowed in the firelight, how her lips curved into that irresistible smile… Only a few hours ago, those lips had been on his… and it had felt so right… yet there she was, flirting with one of his best friends. His eyes bored into her slender form, oblivious to the crowd of hopeful girls hovering around him. 

Lily glanced up to see James once again surrounded by a crowd of girls. She sighed, she'd had him figured right from the start; some guys could go to extraordinary lengths in order to uphold their reputation… It hurt. Being used. But she wouldn't give James the satisfaction of seeing that. She pointedly looked away from him and turned back to Remus. He whispered something in her ear and she was all smiles and laughter again.

When Lily leaned in to kiss Remus, James' insides convulsed, he couldn't bare to look. He closed his eyes. He knew it was inevitable, she'd chosen Remus over him from the very start, but nevertheless, it came as a shock. He wouldn't have thought it was physically possible to experience so much pain from so simple a gesture. It was. James stood up and walked out of the common room, unable to look at Lily.

* * *

Several weeks dragged by, one dismal grey day fading into the next. The Christmas holidays had come and gone, James had gone home, yet he felt no release, every waking moment was spent thinking of Lily, her face even haunted his dreams. He had no idea where he stood with her, they hadn't spoken properly since their kiss and James had no idea what to do. She seemed untouchable, the only time she revealed her vulnerability was when she woke in the middle of the night, screaming and sobbing into her pillow. 

James was avoiding her. Lily couldn't deny the fact that she was grateful. She wanted to talk to him, to explain herself, to apologise for that night, but she didn't know how. She didn't know what had made her kiss him back, or why she had ran away. She reminded herself that he was a manipulating womaniser, and would only have used her, but now this thought seemed feeble, unreal; just that, an excuse. James looked so lost and alone, sitting on his own by the fire, attempting a potions essay, as Lily cuddled on a sofa with Remus. He had been a great friend, always helpful and supportive; they could always find something to talk about, ranging from studies, to phobias. They were extremely alike, and maybe that was what made Lily feel there relationship wasn't ideal. Remus was very quiet and careful with what he did, she always knew what was coming, and she was increasingly longing to do something impulsive for once in her life.

Remus looked down at Lily's glowing red curls and smiled slightly, but his expression quickly reverted back to a frown. She seemed so innocent and serene, cuddled in his arms, her slim body felt so frail and vulnerable in his arms; there were things on her mind, things she wasn't telling him. And he knew that however great a friend she may be, however much he wanted to, he wasn't the one who could help, to whom she could poor out her troubles, who would be able to make her troubles go away. Remus often saw things others didn't. His 'condition' also had its good points; it increased his perceptions, things no one else noticed, to him, seemed blatantly obvious. James was in love with Lily, he saw it clearly as if it were written in black and white. They hadn't spoken since he and Lily had started going out, but as Remus looked across the room, he saw the pain in James' eyes every time he looked up at her. James was so unlike himself; he ignored the people around him wherever possible, he hadn't rumpled his hair in over a month, and had retreated into his studies (an idea James would have been on the floor laughing at before he had met Lily Evans). His only contact with the outside world was their monthly moonlit runs, even at his greatest low; James had not abandoned his friends. But that had been a month ago. Things had still been better then, Remus wasn't so sure now, as his head spun with dizziness, an unwanted reminder of the night ahead. He wondered if James would turn up

He even felt that somewhere, deep inside, beneath everything, Lily also harboured feelings for James. It could have been any of these reasons that made Remus do what he did next, it may have been just the simple fact that he wanted his friend back. Either way, Remus, albeit reluctantly, did what he felt he had to do. He just prayed Lily wouldn't take it the wrong way.

'Lily?'

'Hmmmmmm?' Lily murmured

'I…I'm not sure how to say this, but ah…you're a great friend, and always will be, but… ah….'

'What are you getting at?' Lily frowned, looking up at him quizzically as Remus took a deep breath and blurted out what had been bugging him

'I think someone else needs you more than me…' Lily still didn't get it 'I think we should break up' Lily's eyes widened with surprise 'It's not that I don't love you Lily, you're an amazing girl, an amazing friend, but…someone else is suffering from our relationship…and so are you' he said quietly.

Lily wanted to shout at him, wanted to slap him round the face, to tell him that he was just making up excuses to get rid of her. The thing was, he wasn't, and she knew it. A few moments passed in silence, as Lily sat lost in thought. She looked up at Remus' worried face and smiled.

'Don't worry, it's fine.' She squeezed his hand 'seems like you understand what's going on in my life better than I do' she lightly kissed his cheek, stood up, and with one last sad smile, left the room.

James looked up from his potions essay to see Lily kissing Remus on the cheekbefore leaving, for the thousandth time pain seared behind his eyelids, and James decided he'd had enough. No girl was worth the pain Lily Evans was putting him through. Look what he'd sunken to, writing potions essays in the evening rather than pissing about with his friends. It was impossible to break into her world, to make her understand, so why bother trying? No. This was it; James Potter was through with Lily Evans. And what better way to mark the return of his old ways than to go for a run in the moonlight? James grinned to himself as he crumpled his potions essay and threw it into the fire, all thoughts of Lily Evans out of his mind.

* * *

Lily couldn't sleep, even the nightmares wouldn't come to her tonight, she'd gone to bed early, yet she had been tossing and turning for hours and couldn't get to sleep. Her mind was filled with worries of what she'd say to James, how she'd apologise for her actions…She glanced over at the clock on her bedside table; it was 01:30. She sighed and pulled herself out of bed. She'd go for a walk outside, clear her head. 

Lily walked through the silent hallways of Hogwarts in her pyjamas, her bare feet pattering across the cold flagstones, the castle was completely silent, apart from the slight rustling of clothing behind her…She stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide as she looked round her. Her hand reached for her wand, but it wasn't there. She'd left it in the pocket of robes up in her room…

She heard the rustling behind her once again, but before she could react, she had been shoved forcefully against the cold wall. A hand clamped over her mouth just as she was about to scream. Lily looked up at her captor, who looked down at her; blue eyes cold, greasy blonde hair framing a potentially handsome face, twisted with a smirk.

'Well, well, if it's not dear Lily flower. Didn't expect to see you out at night' Lucius Malfoy smirked, his face contorted with hatred.

**

* * *

A/N: ooh, cliffhanger! **

**Yeah, most of this chapter was a tad uneventful… more on the philosophical, pondering the situation side…**

**But yeah, I'm really looking forward to writing the next few chapters…the ideas that got me started on writing this fic in the first place. XD **

**But for now, R&R, or else:P**


	11. Chapter 11: Escape

**A/N: OMG this is like a record for me! I've managed to post another chapter already! Yay! Be proud of me. So much for the cliffhanger… **

**Anyway, enjoy**

**WARNING: Contains abuse, yeah, a tad worse this time, don't read it unless your ok with that type of stuff. Hope you are tho, cos this chapter was so fun to write! **

* * *

**Escape**

_Oh come now, prince Phillip. Why so melancholy? A wondrous future lies before you. __You, the destined hero of a charming fairy tale come true. _

_Behold, King Stefan's castle, and in yonder topmost tower, dreaming of her true love, the princess Aurora. But see the gracious whim of fate. Why, 'tis the self same peasant maid, who won the heart of our noble prince but yesterday. She is indeed most wondrous fair. Gold of sunshine in her hair, lips that shame the red, red rose. In ageless sleep she finds repose. _

_The years roll by, but a hundred years to a steadfast heart are 'bout a day. And now, the gates of the dungeon part, and our prince is free to go his way. Off he rides on his noble steed ... a valiant figure, straight and tall, to wake his love with love's first kiss, and prove that true love conquers all._

_**Disney's Sleeping Beauty**_

* * *

He removed his hand, Lily tried to scream but Lucius was too fast for her.

'Petrificus totalus' just two words that spelt defeat to Lily. She couldn't move, she couldn't scream, she was completely helpless as she felt his hands all over her, groping every inch of her body, ripping open her shirt… Tears welled up in her eyes, but Lily was unable to blink them away. Tears streamed down her frozen cheeks, splashing down onto the cold flagstones.

'You're pathetic' Lucius snarled, looking up at her with venom. 'Did you really think you could get away from me that easily? You've only made it worse for yourself. We have all night and I'll do all…I…like…with that pretty little body of yours…' He stretched his words out, leisurely trailing a finger down Lily's exposed stomach and started fiddling with the elastic of her pyjama bottoms.

Lily's eyes widened further in sheer terror. He was going to rape her right there in the hallway, right there among the suits of armour, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. Her flow of tears intensified, causing Malfoy to look up from her pyjama bottoms. He gave her a look of utter loathing, this time, mingled with lust. She was a 'mudblood', but he was still a human being, and he wanted her. And he would have her, then and there… Suddenly his face brightened

'I'm so sorry Lily flower, how un-gentlemanly of me. No wonder you're crying, not fair if I get all the fun is it.' Finally, with horror, Lily caught on to his train of thought. He brought up his wand to her throat and muttered the counter curse. Lily felt warmth rush back into her body, and she almost sighed with relief from being able to move again.

She automatically went to pull her shirt closed, to cover herself, but she was stopped by a prod from Lucius' wand.

'Uh uh uh' Lucius sneered. Leave it. I like it that way' Lily was forced to let go of her shirt, allowing it to fall open once again. 'Well done, I'm sure you'll enjoy it too if you just conform.' Lily wanted to spit in his face, but she knew that would not do anything in her favour, so she decided to comply. She shut her eyes at the thought of what was to come, but gritted her teeth and told him

'Fine'

'I knew you'd see it my way' he grinned. In seconds his mouth was on hers, his tongue thrusting unceremoniously down her throat. Lily wanted to pull away, but she couldn't the cold wall she was pressed up against wouldn't allow it. Lucius' hands rose up her chest, painfully kneading her breasts, shoving her ever harder against the wall. His hands felt rough against her skin and a moan escaped her lips, one more of pain than pleasure, but Lily felt Lucius smile against her mouth. His hands began to move down her body, his lips moving down to her neck and her tears started again.

'Being naughty are we?' an all too familiar voice came out of the gloom, accompanied by a wicked cackle. Lucius looked up at Peeves, his hands never leaving Lily's body.

'Fuck off Peeves,' he snarled 'can't you see we're busy?' Peeves only cackled again, ramming into a suit of armour on one side of them. Pieces of metal showered all over them as the suit of armour fell.

'Oy! Filch! Students out of beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!' Peeves screeched gleefully as he flew off.' Malfoy was cursing at him, his attention distracted from Lily. She seized the opportunity, awkwardly stamping down hard on his foot and following it up by ramming her knee into his groin. As Lucius doubled up in pain, she scrambled put from underneath him and sprinted away down the corridor.

She had no idea where she was going. Anywhere away from Lucius. She hugged her ripped shirt to her, as the tears never ceased their flow down her cheeks. She ran and ran through the dark hallways until she heard Filch round a corner. She'd always been terrified of the gnarled old man, and it didn't help her situation that she was out in the middle of the night with a ripped open shirt. She backed into a wall, pressing herself into a tapestry, fruitlessly trying to hide in the shadows, when suddenly the tapestry gave way and she fell through into a small dark passageway.

* * *

Lily didn't know how much time she'd spent sitting hugging her knees by the entrance of the cold damp-smelling passageway. The endless flow of tears had gradually ceased and she was left frigid and terrified of going back into those hallways. She could still imagine she felt his hands all over her, hurting her…She shuddered, trying to block the images out of her mind. Standing up on shaky legs and clutching her shirt tightly to her, she inched her way down the narrow passageway. It wasn't at all inviting, but anything was better than the possibility of coming face-to-face with Lucius again.

The passageway seemed endless, constantly heading downhill. After about half an hour of heading downhill, the passageway tilted up slightly, Lily quickened her pace, sensing the passage was close to an end: and crashed into a wall of earth and rocks. She'd come to a dead end. Lily was about to give up. Her knees were weak with exhaustion, her head reeling with the night's events and her body throbbing with cuts and bruises acquired in her confrontation with Lucius. Just as she was about to sink to the ground she noticed a faint beam of moonlight filtering into the passageway from somewhere above. And sure enough, when she looked up, she saw a trapdoor in the ceiling. Luckily the ceiling wasn't too high, and Lily managed to heave open the trapdoor and scramble out, albeit with difficulty.

Lily emerged in a creaking shack, moonlight seeped through the boarded up windows. Lily couldn't think where she was, until she heard a long terrible howl. And it struck her. She was in the Shrieking Shack! She was about to dive for the trapdoor; she figured even Lucius was better than whatever was producing that howling… But before she got the chance, a door burst open and a full-grown werewolf was racing towards her. She shrank back against the wall as she saw the huge yellow teeth come closer, the deadly claws that sank into the rotting floorboards, the hungry eyes drew ever nearer. She could smell it's carnivorous breath, it felt hot against her skin. Lily couldn't move; her body was totally paralyzed. Her mind was screaming _run_ but her body refused to comply. The werewolf slowed down and raised a clawed paw, lethal points gleaming in the moonlight. Before she knew it, those claws were rushing at her with incredible force, ready to crush her. Suddenly, a beautiful stag galloped from no where to stand in front of Lily, separating her from the werewolf, the claws collided with it's chest, plunging beneath the sleek glossy fur, spattering the stag's front with blood. Lily's body could take no more and she crumpled to the floor in a dead faint.

* * *

James' chest hurt like hell. Sirius had managed to chase Remus off, out of the Shrieking Shack and into the forbidden forest. James had changed back to his human form, sinking down to his knees. The wound wasn't too deep, but it was deep enough to have blood running everywhere. Suddenly, he remembered why it was that he'd managed to get injured by his best friend. James spun round, all pain forgotten, to find Lily sprawled unconscious on the floor, her body covered in a smattering of cuts and bruises. The shirt of her pyjamas had been ripped and had fallen open…she was so beautiful… James quickly looked away, furious with himself for taking advantage of her this way. He walked up to her, and looking as little as possible, pulled her shirt closed and lifted her up in his arms. Now that he was closer, he saw that the cuts and bruises were fresh, many of them still bleeding. She'd been beaten up again. James closed his eyes at the thought, the image too terrible to think of.

He was worried about her. He didn't know how badly she'd been hurt and he couldn't risk taking her back to the castle, whoever had done this to her would still be around and he was in no state to defend her… besides, there would be too many unwanted explanations. So, he did the only thing he could think of. Still holding onto Lily, he kicked away some of the rotting boards from the windows and ran with her to Hogsmeade.

Any hopes of finding help there were dashed as soon as he got into the village. No one was about, and he knew no one was about to let strangers into their home on the night of a full moon; the night the shrieking shack lived up to its name… But something else had caught James' attention. 'The Three Broomsticks'. The sign from the pub swung back and forth, creaking slightly in the wind. All public buildings had a broom shed, with several brooms stored there in the case of an emergency. This was an emergency; they wouldn't mind.

James laid Lily gently down on the ground and reached for his wand.

'Alohamora!' he muttered and the door to the broom shed sprang open. James grabbed a room and ran back to Lily. He wasn't sure how he was going to manage this. The broom was by no means amazing, it was very old and certainly not intended to carry two people, but there was no other way. James got onto the broom and heaved Lily on, placing her in front of him, so he could support her with his arms and make sure she didn't fall off. It was very uncomfortable, and his chest twinged with pain. He kicked off.

* * *

The journey was long and uncomfortable. The broom kept jolting beneath him and several times Lily nearly slipped from his grasp. But finally they got there.James staggered into St Mungo's with Lily in his arms, handing her over to the surprised healers in their lime green robes. He watched her unconscious body being carried away into the hospital as he sank down into a chair, relief seeping into his exhausted bones.**

* * *

A/N: yes, very eventful chapter, for onceXD**

**And I know I know: there is no passageway leading from Hogwarts to the Shrieking Shack, it defies the point of the Whomping Willow, (hmmmm, just noticed the excessive alliteration….) but I needed to get Lily there somehow and she wasn't about to run into the Whomping Willow was she? So yeah**

**This is like my favourite chapter, so please please please R&R and let me know what you think**

**Thankyou!**

**A**

**x **


	12. Chapter 12: Love you Lily

**A/N: Last Chapter! – another planned from the very start XD**

**Hope you enjoy it **

**And about the song lyrics at the start, I'm sorry they're so long, but I just thought they were so fitting, I just had to put the whole song in! anyways, you enjoy the last chapter, and there's always more waffle to look forward to at the end :P **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing etc etc**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Love you Lily**

I had no choice but to hear you  
You stated your case time and again  
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess  
I'm not used to liking that  
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole  
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for  
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things  
You held your breath and the door for me  
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met  
You're my best friend  
Best friend with benefits  
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before  
I've never wanted something rational  
I am aware now  
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault

_-Head over Feet – Alanis Morissette_

* * *

Lily opened her eyes to find herself in a simple bed surrounded by a half – drawn white curtain. Bustling round at the other side of the ward, by a bed just like hers, was an elderly witch in lime – green robes. Lily's eyes moved closer to home, where she found James Potter sitting by her bed, his fingers clasped round her hand, a pained expression on his exhausted face. He had fallen asleep in his chair. Lily's expression softened, she had no idea where she was, or why, but James looked totally exhausted, so she decided to let him be.

'Good afternoon dear' the old witch had noticed that Lily had woken up and had come to her side. 'How are you feeling?'

'I'm alright' Lily said, trying to sit up, but wincing with pain as her temples throbbed unbearably.

'Drink this, It'll help' the lady, whom Lily was starting to recognise as a healer, said as she handed lily a glass of purple liquid. Lily nodded and downed the drink in several gulps, screwing up her face at the taste, but noticing that the potion did in fact reduce the pain in her head significantly. 'Well done'

'Where am I?' Lily asked, sitting up properly now

'In 'St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries' dear. I did what I could for your boyfriend here, stopped most of the blood-flow, but he wouldn't let me do anymore or to lie down. Make sure he sees a healer when he gets back to school.' Lily nodded dumbly, not registering much of what the healer told her.

'But he's not my boyfriend' she blurted out automatically, quickly yanking her hand from his.

'Of course not' the healer smiled knowingly. 'As for you, I've patched up all those bruises and cuts you had, but I'm afraid nothing can be done about any emotional damage that has been inflicted. Merlin knows what you've been through, but I'm surprised you've managed to keep yourself together so long up to now.' Lily closed her eyes and sank back into the pillow, trying to block out the images of Lucius' hungry expression dancing before her eyes. The healer retreated, pity written across her face, she hated to think what those two could have been through, stumbling into the hospital in the early hours of morning, both soaked with blood. She'd tried to give the boy potion to heal that nasty chest wound, but he wouldn't let her. But he was weak with blood-loss, so she had insisted on performing a blood – replenishing spell and a spell to heal up at least the outside of the wound in order to staunch the flow, but he insisted on staying by the girl's side the whole time. She shook her head sadly as she left the ward, but she couldn't help but smile at his devotion. As long as those two had each other, they'd be able to get through virtually anything.

As the door clicked behind her, James started, his eyes flicking open. He sat up in his chair looking round. For a few seconds he had no idea where he was, but then he remembered. His gaze immediately travelled to Lily. She looked so beautiful, as always, even with all those faintly visible cuts and bruises, even with that unhealthy pallor to her skin, and her forehead wrinkled in pain, she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. James reached out to take her hand in his. But as soon as he made contact with her, Lily let out a strangled scream, her eyes flying open in terror.

'It's ok, it's just me' James said softly, after the initial shock, but had the sense not to touch her again. He watched as her chest rose and fell quickly, as she sat looking at him. Slowly, the fear left her eyes and her pulse fell again. She sank slightly into her pillows again.

'I'm sorry. You…scared me, I was just carried away with my thoughts' Lily managed a weak smile.

'It's alright. You scared me too. I thought you were asleep.' He shifted in his chair and as he did so, he noticed Lily starting slightly at the movement. He had no idea what had got her into this state, but realised that now was not the time to ask. 'How are you feeling?' he asked instead, very gently.

'I'm ok,' she lied. 'How long have we been here?'

'Um', said James looking at his watch 'well, we got here last night and now it's 5pm, so yeah, about seven hours…'

'WHAT? A whole day of school! Oh God, they're probably wondering where we are, Merlin, I'm going to have so much to catch up on and all those head duties: there's the, exam timetables to do and I still have to see Alice Longbottom about her charms, I was supposed to be tutoring her today! We have to go back NOW!' She was already swinging her legs out of bed, a worried expression on her face, when she realised her shirt was flapping open. She blushed violently, pulling it closed. She glanced up at James and was grateful to see he had had the decency to look away.

'After we've got you a shirt' he grinned, looking back at Lily, who was once again blushing profusely'

'Yeah'

'But are you sure, I really don't think you're in a fit state to…' James started, looking worried.

'No! I'm fine'

'But-'

'No!' she snapped, 'James you should know full well by now that I'm impossible to budge.' To which James sighed, but nevertheless, unable to resist a small grin creeping onto his face.

'How could I forget. Well, we'd better go get you a shirt then, and I suggest you keep your voice down, that old healer was ranting on about how you needed a break and should rest her for a few days'. Lily snorted and screwed her face up into an expression of disgust

'Didn't think so' James laughed, regretting it a second later as he felt a spasm of pain sear across his chest. Lily didn't notice him wincing.

'Let's GO!' she hissed, grabbing his arm and jerking him out of his chair, causing him to yelp with pain. Lily, still very much out of it, didn't even hear, and continued to pull him out of the room by the arm. James stumbled after her, removing his arm from her grasp before she managed to rip his wound open again or something.

* * *

After about fifteen minutes of stumbling through the corridors of the hospital, and receiving quite the few odd looks from visitors, Lily and James burst out into the afternoon air.

'Right. Clothes.' James said, felling his pockets 'oh crap'

'What?'

'Um, no money. Or wand'

'Ah yes, crap indeed. Me neither.' But then James' face lit up with that all too familiar grin.

'Wait here' James said, as he quickly talked to the dummy in the display of the closed down department store, behind which St Mungo's was concealed and darted back into the hospital

'What? Here? Where are you going? James!' Lily shouted at his receding back, leaning against the wall in exasperation, clutching what was left of her pyjama shirt to her, feeling very self-conscious, standing in ripped pyjamas in the middle of London. But luckily for her, no one even glanced her way as she waited for James to return.

* * *

Back in St Mungo's, James looked round for a suitably occupied and therefore unsuspecting victim, whom he found very quickly. A middle-aged wizard was standing waiting for a lift with a dazed expression on his face, his wand slightly protruding from his trouser pocket. He seemed somewhere else completely. Perfect. James snuck up to him silently, the balls of his feet treading silently on the polished marble floor. He grabbed the wand and muttered virtually inaudibly:

'Accio credit card', before quickly shoving the wand back into the wizard's pocket, just as the lift arrived with a 'ding', rousing the man from his daydream. He looked round, a little flustered

'Yes? Did you want something young man?'

'No, I'm just waiting for someone' the man nodded and walked into the lift. Just as the doors slid shut, a credit card crashed into them, falling to the ground, not a second too early.

James picked up the card off the floor with a grin, slipping it into his pocket. Sometimes he loved muggles so much, all the money he needed in this little piece of plastic. He remembered Lily out on the street, and in her current state. His expression of glee turned to one of anxiety as he sprinted back out of the hospital.

* * *

Lily saw James running back and felt relief wash over her. Ever since her last encounter, every unexpected movement, every glance, every touch scared the hell out of her. A couple of days ago she would have considered this pathetic, but after what she'd gone through and what could have been… She was terrified of it happening again. While standing in the street she kept seeing Lucius' leering face looming out of the crowd, his lustful eyes staring at her; only to melt back into the crowd and prove just to be her imagination. For some reason, on James' return she felt safe.

'Hey, you alright?' James asked as he saw her pressed against the wall behind her, her face pale. She nodded, giving him a weak smile. 'Okies then. So, a shirt for you, wasn't it?' Lily nodded again, absently, before glancing up at him confused.

'We still have no money.' She stated. James held up the credit card. She gasped, horrified. 'James! How could you?' now it was his turn to be confused 'I can't believe you'd steal someone's credit card!' James looked shocked

'I didn't steal anything!' he held out the card so she could read his name on it 'I just borrowed a wand to summon it with the accio spell' he said, laughing at her expression.

'Oh. Sorry' she blushed'

'Right. Shirt' James said, looking around him for somewhere that would sell women's clothes. He saw a clothes shop across the road and motioned towards it.

'What? No! Bloody hell James, the stuff in there's gonna cost lads, I wouldn't be able to pay you back…'

'You don't need to pay me back'

'Yes I do'

'No you really don't, but that's beside the point, shops will start closing in like five minutes and I don't see any other clothes shops around, so unless you want to go back to school in that…' he stated, nodding towards her ripped shirt. Lily blushed again, clutching the shirt to her ever tighter

'But James…' she moaned, but he was already dragging her across the street. 'Fine, we're getting the cheapest shirt in there, ok? And I'll pay you back when we get back to school.' James wasn't listening.

'Excuse me sir, we're closing in three minutes', said a smartly dressed woman at the door, eyeing Lily and James with a look of disdain.

'We won't need any longer' James flashed her his classic irresistible smile and she stepped aside to let them through. James grabbed the first shirt he saw of her size, and as an afterthought grabbed a jumper and a pair of jeans. It was getting chilly outside. And before Lily could protest, he was at the checkout, paying for the clothing.

'Ok, go put them on in the changing rooms; I'll wait for you. Just hurry up' Lily did what she was told, getting changed quickly, worried that the people in the shop would get angry because they wanted to close the shop and go home. She needn't have worried. In fact, the lady at the door looked sad to see James go as they walked out of the shop.

'James there jeans are Armani! They must have cost a fortune!' he shrugged it off.

'You look lovely though' Lily's cheeks turned crimson again. What was it with her lately; she just couldn't stop blushing in front of James. It was getting embarrassing.

'So, um, how are we getting back to Hogwarts?'

'Flying'

'Flying?'

'Yup'

'Um, James, I um, can't fly…' James stopped to look at her, surprised, as her cheeks coloured again.

'Only have one broom anyway' he shrugged 'I'll carry you'

'No you most certainly will not!' Lily glared at him, stopping in the middle of the street. 'I'm much too heavy, besides I-' but she was cut off by James laughing, which only aggravated her further.

'You? Heavy? God, Lily, you weigh like nothing. And I'll be carrying you, like it or not. Unless you've figured out a way of flying without a broom.'

'James. I- I'm scared of heights. What if we fall?'

'I'd never let you fall Lily' James said, gazing into her emerald eyes. He said it with such sincerity that she couldn't help but believe him, and despite herself, found herself nodding.

* * *

The wind whipped through her hair, stinging at her skin as they flew through the air. The feeling was unbelievable; she'd always wondered what it felt like to fly; now she knew. And it was amazing. However, the feeling was kind of lost, seeing as she was curled up in front of James, his strong arms supporting her on either side, ensuring she wouldn't fall. She'd never been so close to him before. Her initial reaction to such close contact was obviously to jump in fright, due to all the memories still fresh in her mind. But he'd managed to reassure her with gentle words and the wind had blown all nasty memories out of her head for the time being. She actually found herself really enjoying it.

One thing that would not go away, however, was the growing feeling in the pit of her stomach. It had been there for months, but now it was worse than ever and impossible to ignore. Lily had refused to acknowledge her feelings, but now it was so obvious it hurt and she couldn't ignore it any longer. She had fallen for James Potter. She didn't know when or why, all she knew was that she loved being this close to him; she loved his smell, the feel of his strong arms round her…

But she was scared. Terrified of rejection, of what had happened with Malfoy… She couldn't let anything happen. Not yet. They were just back on speaking terms, it would be just like her to go and ruin everything. So she said nothing.

'Lily?'

'Mmmmm?'

'How did you err, get to the shrieking shack last night…?' James asked awkwardly, voicing the question that had been troubling him for hours now. Images burst into Lily's mind, she was there again; in that dark corridor with Lucius, she could feel his dirty hands all over her again, his lustful eyes boring into her…

She shook her head quickly as the tears prickled at her eyes, unable to look up at James.

'Please' James said so gently. But Lily couldn't bring herself to. It hurt too much, just the thought of him ripped her to pieces. She couldn't let James see her weakness.

'Please tell me', he pleaded with her, his voice full of compassion and understanding. Lily felt herself give in to him, against all her better judgement.

'Malfoy – he –he tried to rape me - ' she whispered so quietly, it was almost inaudible, especially against the rushing wind. But James heard.

'MALFOY WHAT?' He shouted, the broom halting in mid air, jolting so hard that they both almost fell. 'OH MY FUCKING GOD! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BASTARD! HOW DARE THAT FUCKING CUNT LAY A FINGER ON YOU? OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!' Lily was taken aback by this sudden outburst from James. She had never seen him so angry in all the time she'd known him, and though usually she would have been terrified, she found it strangely comforting and reassuring. At that moment she knew, that James would never hurt her.

As his heavy breathing went down to normal, he kicked the broom back into action and they continued flying towards Hogwarts.

'I'm so sorry Lily' he murmured, his voice filled with pain and regret. She looked up at him shocked

'James, why are you apologising? It wasn't your fault' she said incredulously 'besides, he didn't quite…finish. Peeves dropped a suit of armour on him, and I ran for it. He only-'

'Ripped your shirt open covered you in bruises and drove you to collapse and even now you still jump at everything I do!' James growled with vehemence 'I just – I shouldn't have ignored you like that, then maybe I would have been there to help, this may never have happened…'

'James. James. Calm down' Lily said soothingly. 'You couldn't have done anything anyway; he would have got me sooner or later. Don't blame yourself. Just – calm down' He nodded slowly, reluctantly, and they flew on in silence.

After a considerable period of time, James got his thoughts under control again. There was no point fuming and making useless threats, Malfoy was a fucking bastard and he would make him wish he was never born; but now was not the time to think such evil thoughts, not with Lily Evans curled up in his lap. And with this revelation, James also felt a twinge of pain in his chest. The thin layer of skin, which had been magically re-grown over his chest wound, must have ripped when he had stopped the broom so abruptly. He could feel the warm blood trickling down his chest and soaking into his shirt. _Shit._

Lily noticed it just as he did. She raised her hand to touch the still tiny patch of blood-soaked material. As her fingers made contact, a series of images flashed through her mind: The creaking floorboards, strips of moonlight, the werewolf running at her, the beautiful stag, deathly claws colliding and the blood on its chest… She raised her eyes up to his, with an almost inaudible gasp.

'You're – you're an - animagus…' her eyes were wide in surprise. Everything clicked, the monthly disappearances, the marauders' secrecy, their attachment, Moony, and Prongs…and he had risked his life to save her, had thrown himself in the path of a werewolf… James said nothing, just flew on, his eyes set on the night sky ahead and the castle looming out of the night mist.

* * *

They walked through the darkened corridors in silence; all the students were eating dinner in the great hall and their footsteps echoed against the flagstones. It reminded Lily so much of the other night with Malfoy, that she shrank back against James. He took her hand reassuringly, realising the cause of her terror.

'You need to go see Madame Pomfrey' Said Lily, suddenly remembering what the healer back at St Mugo's had said about James' condition. She bit her lip, ashamed that she hadn't given it a moment of thought up till now, even though she had been told that he was badly hurt.

'No, I'm alright' he answered quickly, 'seriously'

'James, you were attacked by a werewolf and half your shirt is soaked with blood, you're going to see Madame Pomfrey NOW'

'I'm fine really!' Lily just looked at him sceptically 'All right, fine, I'm um, scared of her…' James said awkwardly, colouring slightly. Lily had to fight hard to restrain a laugh. He was frightened of Madame Pomfrey. 'Please Lily, I hate all those potions, they scare me shitless, and it hurts like hell when you drink them…'

'Fine, we'll figure something out…'she sighed, just as they arrived in front of the portrait guarding the entrance to their common room.

They clambered through the portrait hole, ignoring the chiding of the portrait of the stately old man, as he grumbled about where they had got to. The fire was crackling welcomingly in the grate and James meant to sink into a chair but Lily, led him on into her bedroom.

'Um, Lily?' James asked confused 'why are we coming in here?'

'Sit down' she ordered, motioning towards her bed' James frowned, but obeyed. Lily went straight to her chest of draws and started rummaging round. Then she pulled out a big green box with a white cross marked on it, James had never seen a first aid box before, having grown up in a wizarding family, so was at a total loss as to what Lily was doing.

'Take off your shirt' Lily said, without looking up, fingering the contents of the box.

'What?'

'Just take your shirt off James' her voice carried a hint of exasperation. James decided to comply, unbuttoning his blood-soaked shirt and then struggling a little with the equally dirty T-shirt he wore underneath, finally managing to pull it over his head, unable to keep from wincing with the pain as the wound stretched.

Lily turned round to face him, with a bottle of disinfectant in one hand and a cloth in the other. But as she caught sight of his bare chest she couldn't help but pause for a fraction of a second to admire the toned rippling muscles.

'Right' she said, recovering herself 'This will probably hurt, but I need to disinfect it, God knows where those claws have been.' James looked a bit frightened, though he struggled hard not to show his fear to Lily. He could face werewolves but he was terrified of healers… He winced slightly when the cloth with disinfectant made contact with the open wound, but gritted his teeth and forced himself to take the pain.

After about five minutes of diligently dabbing and cleaning the wound, Lily drew back with a smile.

'You're luck James. Any deeper and I would have had to make you go see Madame Pomfrey, but as it is, it's not too bad and it's clean enough, didn't have time to get infected or anything.' James let out an involuntary sigh of relief, causing Lily to laugh. 'And don't worry, I only have to bind it now. I won't be hurting you any more.' Lily now returned to his side with a swathe of bandages in her hand and started winding them round his chest, dressing the wound.

Lily had never touched him so gently before, every movement she made was careful and tender, so as not to cause him any unnecessary pain. James watched her face as she dressed his wound, she looked so beautiful when she was concentrating, a slight frown creased her brow and her tousled hair fell about her face.

As Lily finished tying the bandages, she let her hands rest briefly on his chest. She glanced up at him, her eyes sad.

'I'm so sorry James' she whispered, looking down again, unable to hold his gaze. But his hand was under her chin, tilting her head upwards.

'Don't be' he whispered, against her mouth, and before she could respond, his lips were on hers.

* * *

James stroked Lily's unruly curls, as she lay curled against him, her head resting on his shoulder, breathing lightly. He kissed her forehead lightly, whispering 'I love you Lily', before allowing his eyes to close and his body succumb to the much-needed sleep.

That night, Lily did not wake up screaming from a nightmare. She lay curled up against James and her dreams no longer dwelt on the past; she looked to the future, where she and James would be happy and he would whisper to her 'I love you Lily'

**FIN**

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* * *

A/N: I really hope you all liked it, I know it was on the long side, but I thought I'd kept you waiting long enough, for this chapter, so I might as well make it a nice long one. I know it was rather fluffy at the end, but I love happy endings and can never resist fluff…**

**So yeah, I hope you enjoyed it, there will be anther LJ fic coming in a little while (once I'm done with my GCSE's), but for now R&R and make me just as happy as Lily there… XD**

**Thank you everyone for reading**

**xxxxxxx**


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